


Promise

by Reader115



Series: Promise series [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Love, M/M, Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-07 16:32:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5463446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reader115/pseuds/Reader115
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Master Splinter noted a special bond between Raphael and Leonardo when they were young. They become distant as teenagers and Leo is left to wonder why. Meanwhile, Raphael begins to wonder if he made the wrong decision. 1st story of a continuation series.</p><p>Originally posted on the FF site from Jun 20, 2015 - Jun 30, 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He woke up suddenly to a strange noise. Tensing, he waited and took stock of his surroundings. He listened to water dripping until he heard a repeat of the strange noise: a gasp and then a whimper.

Quickly, he rolled over and immediately began trying to wake up his big brother by shaking his shoulder. Leonardo's eyes shot open, but Raphael could tell he wasn't fully awake yet.

"Leo, yer having a bad dream. Look at me. Yer ok." He tried to keep his voice down. All four brothers slept in a pile on a makeshift bed and he didn't want to wake up their other two brothers. Or their father, who was sleeping nearby in a recliner.

Leo's head jerked in Raph's direction and he whispered, "Raph?"

"Yeah, Leo," he whispered back. "Yer ok," he repeated.

Finally, Leo seemed to recognize that he was awake and not in the grips of whatever dream he'd been caught in. He surged forward and wrapped his arms around Raphael's neck. Raph gladly welcomed him and pulled him in close to his plastron, slightly alarmed to feel his big brother shaking.

"What was it?" Raph asked.

Leo only shook his head and nudged his face deeper into Raph's neck, doing his best not to sniffle or give away the fact that he was on the verge of actual tears. He was practically ten years old. Too old to cry about a bad dream. Instead, he tried to take deep breaths and calm himself by breathing in Raphael's familiar scent.

Raph could hear Leo's altered breathing and didn't call attention to it. He rather liked having Leo curled into him and didn't want to chase him away by asking if he was crying.

After a few long moments, Leo leaned back far enough to be able to look up into Raph's bright green eyes, the color visible even in the darkness. "It was a monster," he whispered. "A big metal turtle grabbed you and took you away from me."

"A metal turtle?"

Leo only nodded, his big blue eyes full of fear. "I tr-tried to chase him, but he was too fast. And then you were gone. I failed as your big brother."

"You'll never fail as my brother," Raph said, fiercely. He cut off whatever Leo was about to say next, knowing Leo could drown himself in guilt even over a nightmare. As if he had any control over what happened in the dream world. "And I'm fine. I'm right here with you. I promise I wont let a metal turtle anywhere near me." It was certainly a strange thing to have to say, but he said it sincerely, without sarcasm. He'd say anything to make Leo feel better.

Leo ran his fingers up and down the edge of Raph's shell and Raphael tried and failed to suppress a shiver. Leo didn't seem to notice. He appeared to be considering Raph's words.

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll always be here. With you. For you," he answered back.

"Thanks, Raphie," Leo said with a small smile, knowing how much Raphael disliked the nickname when Mikey said it, although he let Leo get away with it.

Raph only glared lightly at him.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"Shh," Raph said, pulling Leo closer again. He listened until he heard Leo's breathing even out before he allowed himself to go back to sleep as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Five years later…

"Hey, Leo, want to hang out with me?"

"Always, Raph," Leo answered, his big blue eyes shining and his mouth twisted up in a grin.

"Let's go explore the tunnels."

"Splinter said to stay in the lair while he was gone."

"Come on, Leo," Raph said, practically whining. "We won't go far."

"If we won't go far, then why go at all? We can get Donnie and Mikey and play that new board game Mikey found."

They'd all been out scavenging together for their new lair recently. Splinter had found them a much larger home compared to their last. They each had their own room and there were separate places for the dojo, kitchen and living room, as well as a few other spaces that didn't have assigned titles yet. Although Mikey's finds were typically entertainment-based and not necessarily useful in a way that would help keep them all alive, his brothers were still generally grateful for them.

"I don't want to play a board game and I don't want to play with them. I just want to explore the new tunnels. With you." Raphael sighed. He hadn't meant to say all that. Out loud. 

He liked the new lair and he liked having his own room. But he still wasn't used to sleeping on his own at night and he suddenly felt like he didn't get to see Leo nearly enough.

Leo's eyes widened slightly. It was rare for Raph to state what he wanted so plainly. And truthfully, he desperately wanted some alone time with Raph as well. But instead, he forced himself to say, "I can't leave them here alone, Raph. What if something happens?"

"What will happen? They're not babies. Well," he considered, "Donnie isn't a baby."

"I am NOT a baby, either!" Mikey said, coming out of the kitchen. "And you don't have to play!" Mikey grabbed Leo's arm and started dragging him towards the coffee table, sticking his tongue out at Raph.

"I'm going," Raph said, a challenge in his voice, scowling at Mikey as he stole Leo away.

"Raph, no!" Leo said, but it was too late. Raph had already sprinted out the door. Leo was torn between going after him and staying to watch over his other two brothers.

"Donnie! Come play with us!" Mikey called out, oblivious to Raph's exit from their home, just excited that Leo wanted to play his new game.

Raphael had dashed out the door of the lair but quickly stopped in the outer tunnel and waited. He wanted Leo to choose him over the goofball's game. He knew they weren't supposed to leave. He knew it would be a bad idea to leave Mikey and Donnie by themselves if Leo did choose to go with him. But he still wanted Leo to choose him. He gave Leo another few seconds before realizing he wouldn't be following.

Their father had been teaching them ninjitsu since they could walk, including with it a strict code of honor that Raph was pretty sure shaped Leo's goody-goody tendencies. He scowled at the ground as he began to walk away from their home. He shouldn't be mad at Leo for always following the rules. For being a good son and a good brother. But he was. He would admit only to himself that he was selfish when it came to Leo. He loved him. And not in the way that he loved Donnie and Mikey. He was pretty sure Leo loved him back the same way. For now, he was pretty content in that knowledge, without any verbal declarations from either of them.

He stopped scowling and smiled as he thought about all the things he liked best about his brother. His blue eyes. His smile. His voice. Seriously, his whole face. His laugh. His scent. He could also watch Leo in the dojo all day. Leo learned katas quickly, which forced Raph to work hard to keep up. Leo was his favorite sparring partner because Leo gave as good as he got. Plus he always had a small smile for Raph afterwards, even if Raphael was the victor.

Leo was recently given the katana as his personal weapon while Raph was given the sais. Raph would admit to himself that he had liked the katana. But he liked watching Leo move with them even more. And with the sais, a defensive weapon, he was able to spar with Leo in a way that he knew would only make Leo better. He wasn't afraid of using dirty tricks, something Leo and his love of honor wouldn't attempt. But Raph knew that real enemies would use dirty tricks and he was damn sure going to make sure Leo was ready for them.

He looked up from his musings and realized he'd walked farther than he'd intended. He stopped and looked around for some landmark that would tell him where he was and found none.

"Are you alone, little turtle?"

Raph swung around to the sinister voice behind him and his eyes widened as he staggered backwards away from the huge crocodile standing in one of the tunnel entryways.

"Alone, alone, alone," the crocodile said, "perfect timing, too, because I was just getting hungry for a snack."

He lunged suddenly for Raphael's feet, but Raph's muscle memory seemed to jump in despite his shock at seeing another talking, mutant reptile. He jumped up and kicked off the wall to backflip out of the croc's reach before turning and sprinting down the tunnel passage from where he came.

He glanced back and was terrified to find that despite his large size, the crocodile was actually quite fast and was catching up. Suddenly he heard pounding footprints coming from in front of him and his breathing stopped for a moment when he heard a familiar voice calling out his name.

"Leo!" He yelled back. "Leo! No! Turn back!"

Raphael stopped suddenly, pulling his sais and facing the crocodile. He wasn't going to let him anywhere near his brother, even if that meant facing him head on.

"My little snack is providing me with a challenge?" The crocodile practically laughed as he caught up to Raphael, knocking Raph's anger up a few notches and his fear down.

He knew the moment Leo came into view behind him as the crocodile's eyes practically lit up at the sight of another "snack".

"I'm the one you want," Raphael growled and lunged himself at the crocodile. He caught him off guard and was able to actually do damage under one of his arms.

"Raph!" Leo yelled behind him and Raph could actually hear him unsheathe the katana over the blood roaring in his ears.

Leo jumped into the fight as well, but the crocodile hadn't taken his eyes off Raph's big brother since his arrival and was ready for him. His large tail swung around and with scary little effort from the crocodile, he hit Leo directly in the plastron, flinging him across the tunnel where Raph heard his shell hit the wall with a sickening crack before Leo landed face down on the ground.

Raph froze, not even daring to breathe as he waited for Leo to jump up like he would if he'd been knocked down during a spar in the dojo. He stared as if he could will Leo to get back up.

The crocodile's laughter broke him from his stare. Raphael roared as he lunged again for the crocodile, intending to do serious damage. But the crocodile practically brushed Raphael aside with an arm like he was swatting at a fly. It happened so fast that Raph could feel his face scraping against the wall before he even really felt the croc's hit.

"Get away from my sons!"

Strange how he could be both relieved and terrified to hear his father's voice. He quickly left his spot on the ground and raced to Leo. He gasped to see what looked like a large crack at the top of his brother's shell. He leaned him over slightly, frantic to see if his brother was breathing. The fight going on behind his back, typically something he'd love to see, like the wrestling shows he'd sometimes stay up late to watch, was unimportant.

He sighed in relief when it was clear that although Leo was unconscious, he was still breathing.

Suddenly his father was next to him, scooping Leonardo up and dashing away down the tunnel. Once again, Raphael froze, as if he couldn't understand how Leo was not still in front of him. He glanced behind him to see the crocodile lying on the ground, unmoving. He couldn't tell if he was dead or also just unconscious.

"Raphael! Now!" Splinter called behind him.

Raph jumped to his feet and followed.


	3. Chapter 3

This was his fault. All his fault. He should've stayed home and played the stupid board game. He shouldn't have gone into the tunnels. If he'd stayed home, Leo would be sitting at the table eating dinner with the family instead of laying here. Pale as a ghost. With a cracked shell. Unconscious.

Apparently, Raphael had been gone for two hours earlier and when Splinter arrived home after his scavenge, he found Leo pacing the floor with worry over Raph. Splinter tried to go out alone to look for him but Leo wouldn't be left behind. He set out before their father had even reached the lair's entrance in search of him.

Raphael knew Splinter was furious with him. But he was keeping it to himself. For now. He tended to both Leonardo's and Raphael's injuries. And then left Raphael to his vigil next to Leonardo. Punishment would come later. He was aware of the special bond between his two eldest and for now he knew Raphael would be punishing himself enough.

"You should go to bed. You are also injured and need your rest," Splinter said to him some time later.

Raphael only shook his head and pulled his chair closer to Leo's bed. He clutched Leo's hand. "I'm fine, sensei. I'll rest here tonight."

Splinter rested his hand on Raph's shoulder and immediately felt him tense. Unlike his other three adopted sons, Raphael typically resisted physical comfort from his father. Leonardo seemed to be the only one who could physically touch Raphael outside of sparring and get away with it, something Splinter never failed to notice.

"He will be ok with some rest, Raphael. But that crack in his shell is fairly serious and he will need your help in his recovery."

"Hai, sensei. I'll be right here to help."

Splinter nodded and turned to go to his own bedroom. Raphael watched him go, feeling the full weight of the guilt from Leo's injuries on the shoulder his father's hand had just been resting.

"P-promise?" a hoarse but familiar voice asked.

Raph's head whipped around to see Leo's blue eyes cracked open. "Leo!" Raph leaned in quickly and wrapped his arms around Leo's neck. "You scared me," he whispered into Leo's neck. "I told you to stay back!"

"Couldn't let you have all the fun," Leo said and had the nerve to actually laugh.

"This is serious!" Raph said, leaning back to look directly into his brother's face. "You have a cracked shell, Leo. You've been seriously hurt."

"Your face doesn't look so awesome either," Leo said, smiling sadly as he scanned over Raph's multiple cuts and bruises. "And you just said you'd help me recover from the cracked shell, right?"

Raphael continued to stare hard at Leo. Maybe he had a head injury that was preventing him from realizing the extent of his injuries. Or how serious this was. Leo could've been killed. And then eaten. And it was all his fault.

"I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner Raphie," Leo said.

"What? Leo, don't start apologizing or blaming yerself. This is all MY fault."

"No, I should've suggested something at home that would've made you want to stay. Or gone with you when you left."

"Leo, stop. I know you know how to turn this into your fault faster than Mikey can get on my nerves, but this is all my fault. I'm so sorry, Leo."

"Do you have any other injuries I can't see?" Leo asked, ignoring Raph's apology. He tried to lean forward to get a better look at his brother but was quickly pushed back down by a strong emerald hand.

"No," he said, harshly, making sure Leo was going to stay down before he began to remove his hand.

Leo grabbed his hand before he could fully pull away and wrapped both of his hands around it. "You scared me," he said softly.

Raphael nodded. He took in the pain he saw in those blue eyes he'd always loved.

This was all his fault. He had to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. But how? Suddenly it hit him. His feelings for Leo. They probably led to Leo's feelings for him as well. If he didn't love Leo so much, then Leo probably wouldn't love him either. And Leo wouldn't worry so much. Wouldn't run after him and throw himself into danger to save him. It pained him. It physically hurt in his chest and he hadn't even started pulling away yet. But he knew what he had to do. To keep Leo safe.

"Come here," Leo said, pulling on Raph's hand. "Stay in here tonight."

Raph stared at him for only a second before climbing into bed, pulling him close so that Leo's head could rest on his shoulder without hurting his shell.

"Promise me you'll always be here for me."

"For you," Raphael said, secretly meaning it.

Tomorrow. He'd start not loving Leo so damn much tomorrow. Tonight, he'd let himself have this.


	4. Chapter 4

Leo would be lying if he said it didn't hurt. The crack in his shell. It hurt like a bitch. Not a word he would say out loud. But not swearing didn't take the pain away, either.

It had been a few weeks since the incident with the crocodile. It still shamed him to think how easily he'd been knocked out in the fight. And now because of the crack he couldn't even get back into training right away. Soon he would though. And he would train harder than ever. He couldn't let something like that happen again. If their father hadn't arrived when he did, Raphael could've been crocodile chow. He had to do better for his brothers. For Raphael.

Speaking of, Raphael had been acting strangely since the incident. Although he said he'd help Leo recover, he hadn't actually spent any time alone with Leo. It fell on Donnie to add disinfectant and bandages to his shell and dole out the pain meds that Leo took begrudgingly. He was practically stuck in either his bed or out on the couch. But Mikey would sit and watch movies with him and play games with him. He had even found a deck of cards that wasn't missing a single card and they came up with different games to play. He was thankful for Donnie's help. He couldn't reach the crack himself to take care of it. And he was happy to have Mikey's company. But he still wished Raph showed an interest. He wished Raph would sit with him. He wished Raph would show that he cared, too.

When they weren't all eating together or training, Raphael stayed either in his room or in the dojo. Leo knew that he was grounded as part of his punishment and not allowed to go scavenging when Splinter took Mikey and Donnie out. But even then, he didn't come out and keep Leo company. Leo caught Raph looking at him from the corner of his eye a couple times. But that was the extent of their interaction.

A few weeks went by and Raph was still acting strange. Leo was feeling good though and was thrilled that Splinter was going to let him return to training with his brothers.  


For some reason, this gave Leo hope in regards to Raph. Maybe Raphael was keeping his distance because Leo was hurt. Maybe if they could get back to a normal routine, then Raph would return to normal as well.

Master Splinter ran them through several katas before splitting them into pairs for sparring. Leo was feeling stiff but still happy to be back to work. He was up against Mikey first. His baby brother's energy never ceased to amaze him. Although it would appear that Mikey was all noise and movement, it was all just an effective distraction from his natural athletic abilities.

Still, even rusty, Leo managed to best him, which left him to spar against Raphael next since he had just bested Donnie. Mikey sat next to Donnie and they leaned in and began whispering to each other.

Leo bowed to Raphael, a small smile on his face. Raph worked to keep his face blank but found it was hard to do in light of that smile. He switched to a scowl. Anything to keep from smiling back. He watched as Leo's smile faltered. He hated himself in that moment. But he kept his scowl. This was the plan. This was what was supposed to happen. This would keep Leo safe in the long run. He'd just have to ignore the looks his big brother was sending him.

They circled each other for a few moments before Leo lunged for him. He knew Raphael was stronger, so his main goal with Raph was always to keep himself from being pinned. They each got in a few good hits and Leo thought it was going fairly well. He was holding up against Raph and hopefully proving to Raphael that he was fine. Good as new.  
Good as new until Raph spun and kicked him directly in the plastron. He flew through the air in an amazingly similar picture to what had happened with the crocodile and his shell hit the wall behind him.

Leo gasped as the air was knocked from his lungs and his shell felt like it was going to explode. He was on fire. He was sure of it. Any minute they'd be dumping water on him before he burned down the dojo.

Raphael waited long enough to make sure Leo was going to stay conscious before fleeing the dojo.

Leo tried to call him back but still didn't have enough air to successfully speak at all. He soon felt Splinter and Donnie trying to sit him upright. He continued gasping for air for a few minutes before he got his breathing under control.

"Was that an exact reenactment of what happened with the crocodile?" Donnie asked, softly.

Leo nodded. Leave it to Donnie to immediately figure out the problem.

"Wanted him to see that I was ok," Leo panted out. "Guess I failed." His arms trembled in an effort to not show how much pain he was in.

Donnie frowned. Mikey rubbed his shoulder encouragingly. Master Splinter sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

"You should talk to him. I don't know why you've been avoiding him but we've all noticed. He feels guilty."

"He always feels guilty. He should trademark the feeling," Raph answered, scowling again. Scowling worked for him. Scowling kept all the feelings he was actually feeling off his face.

"So you're really not going to talk to him?" Donnie asked. "You're ok not being his best friend anymore?"

"Guess so," Raphael said, gruffly. He put his water glass in the sink and turned to go. "Are we done? I'm going to lift weights."

"This is bad," Mikey said, coming into the kitchen only after Raph had left. He didn't want him to know he'd been eavesdropping outside.

Donnie glanced at Mikey and nodded.

"What do we do?"

Donnie shrugged. He could see Leo trying to reach Raph and he could see Raph pushing Leo away. The only one who could fix this would be Raphael himself and obviously talking to him about it wasn't helping.

"You wont suddenly stop being friends with me, will you Donnie?"

Donnie pulled him into a side hug. "Never Mikey."

Mikey began fidgeting his hands together. "Even when I tell you I spilled a beaker of orange stuff on your desk?"

Donnie sighed.

They were both distracted as Leo came out of Master Splinter's room, his shoulders hunched and his head down. He came into the kitchen and they both looked at him, waiting.

"Master Splinter wants me to become leader of the team," he said plainly.

Neither brother was shocked. Leo was the eldest. The most responsible. The most dedicated to the craft. This had always been the plan.

"Congratulations?" Donnie said, with a raised eye ridge.

"Yeah congrats, dude! But, uh, why don't you look happy?"

"What if I'm not strong enough to be leader? Look what already happened and we haven't even gone topside yet. Raphael obviously already knows I don't have what it takes."

"That's not what he thinks, Leo," Donnie said.

"You may be a genius Don but I don't think you're a Raph mind-reader."

"Not helping, Mikey."

Mikey glanced at the sad look on his new leader's face.

"Sorry, bro."

"You're going to be a great leader, Leo. One incident won’t dictate how the future will be. And we'll all be here to help you, even Raphael. You know that."

"Sure thing, dude," Mikey added.

Leo smiled at his two youngest brothers. He heard the clinking of Raphael's weights in the dojo and excused himself from the kitchen.

He knew Raphael knew he was there, even if he didn't look at him as he approached. He stood lifting weights, grunting with each effort.

"Need a spotter?"

"I'm good."

Leo stood awkwardly for a moment. He and Raph were never awkward and now it seemed to be the only thing they could continuously manage.

"I just had a meeting with Master Splinter. He wants to begin training me to become the team leader."

He paused, waiting for Raphael to say something. Raphael stayed silent except for the grunt that accompanied each lift.

"So I guess that means extra training," Leo continued.

"Extra training from what you already do? How is that possible?"

Normally, Leo knows, this would've been a joke from Raph. After all, Raph was right now doing some extra training himself. And before the incident, Leo was rarely in the dojo without Raph there with him doing extra workouts. But this time Raph has said it with disdain in his voice. A snarl on his face. Maybe it was because he was in the middle of something strenuous. But Leo doubted it.

"Do – do you think it's a good decision?"

"We never question Master Splinter's decisions."

"But do you think I'll be a good leader?"

"You'll just have to work at it I guess," Raph said, his eyes leaving his weights to glance at Leo.

Leo heard the words. Saw the scowl. His chest hurt at the rejection.

"I miss you, Raph." The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think about them.

He watched Raph freeze for a second. He watched his throat move as he swallowed. How long had it been since he'd last been able to wrap his arms around those shoulders? Press his face into that neck for comfort?

"You promised that you'd always be –" He cut himself off. He was only willing to put himself so far out there.

Leo turned and left when it was clear Raph wasn't going to respond.

Raph set the weights down and stared at the spot where Leo had stood only a few seconds before he dropped his face into his hands. The pain in Leo's face was too much.

He felt like a bastard.


	6. Chapter 6

Leo accepted that Raphael was temperamental. Hot headed. Brash. And typically scowling.

But in the last four years, he'd also watched Raphael in action as a vital member of their team and he knew that Raph was also fiercely protective, unusually tender with animals and a powerhouse of strength. He was also loyal to their human friends, April, Casey and Woody. Although Woody was mostly Mike's friend and Casey had somehow become Raph's best friend. A situation that grated on Leo's nerves although he did his best not to let it show.

So despite their loud and numerous arguments, he typically didn't get actively angry with Raphael. Because he knew Raph needed the arguments to vent out the frustration that seemed to come so easily to him. And out of the brothers, Leo's shell was the only one tough enough to take the jabs. And hand them back. And he also willingly engaged with Raphael because he could still remember the sweet boy Raph had been when they were children, which led him to dismiss almost 99% of the things that came out Raphael's mouth.

Typically those thoughts kept him fairly calm during their arguments, even if visibly he was seen yelling back at his angry brother.

But tonight, his patience had run out.

"What the hell were you thinking, Raphael? I told you to get out of there!"

"I did!" Raphael yelled back, his shout echoing off the sewer tunnel.

"Yeah, ten minutes later," Leo growled back.

"You were surrounded by purple dragons. What did you want me to do?"

"I wanted you to listen to me for once! I wanted you to help Donnie carry that- whatever that is," he jerked his head in the direction of Donnie and Mikey who were walking ahead  
of them, carrying a large metal crate between them, "out of there before Hun got his hands on it. I had Mikey with me for back-up! Instead you left Donnie to struggle alone and he almost lost his head!"

"I was fine, Leo," Donnie interjected, "I saw the guy coming."

"Not now, Donatello!"

Donnie snapped his mouth shut and rolled his eyes at Mikey as they walked on. Leo and Raph had stopped walking and were staring each other down.

"You got the full name treatment!" Mikey whispered tauntingly to Donnie.

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to Donnie," Raph growled menacingly at Leo from where they stood.

"Oh, I forgot you can be in two places at one time," Leo said, sarcastically.

"I saved yer ass. Yer welcome."

"I wasn't thanking you! I was –"

"Lecturing me. I got it. I forgot, perfect fearless leader Leonardo is always right!" Raph bit out before he began once again moving down the tunnel to trail behind Mikey and Donnie.

Leo stood there for a few minutes until his brothers were out of sight before muttering, "If I was actually perfect, you wouldn't hate me."

Raph stomped back to the lair, gulping in big breaths of air in an attempt to calm down. He was grateful Leo could no longer see his face. He didn't turn but he sensed that Leo wasn't actually following him. Yet.

He knew that Leo typically stayed relatively calm during their arguments, something that drove him up the wall. But right now, he could see Leo losing that control he usually held onto so tightly. The swearing at the start of the argument tipped him off even before he got a good look at those frantic blue eyes. He backed off for once because he knew Leo was legitimately pissed. And if Leo was legitimately pissed, then Raph knew that his goody-goody leader was probably in the right.

Leo reached the lair soon after his brothers. Mikey exited Don's lab after helping him deposit the big crate in there. It was already the early morning hours of the new day and Leo made a mental note to check on Donnie later and make him go to bed instead of spending the entire night researching whatever they had brought home.

He watched then as Mikey and Raph headed upstairs where Leo was hoping their immediate plans included sleep. Mikey was apparently never too tired to annoy Raphael, however, and he watched as Mikey punched Raph in the shoulder before sprinting ahead of him and slamming the door to his own room before Raph could even react.

He kept his eyes on his emerald brother until Raph reached his bedroom door. Suddenly Raphael turned and his focus zeroed in on Leonardo's face. They stared at each for a few moments. Leo's eyes were full of remorse. He didn't enjoy screaming matches with Raphael. And as much as he hated the push back on his leadership, he knew that Raph really only second guessed him in the middle of a fight if he believed Leo was truly wrong, which meant he must have believed that Leo was truly in danger tonight.

For his part, Raph's eyes seemed to have their fair share of regret as well. Raph tipped his head in Leo's direction. Leo shifted his gaze to the floor. When he glanced back up, Raphael was out of sight, presumably in his own bedroom.

Leo turned and headed to the dojo where he knew Master Splinter would be waiting to hear a report on their patrol.

Raphael flopped into his hammock and beat his pillow into submission below his head. He stared up at his ceiling and for the thousandth time, wished he had something more interesting to look at in his room other than bricks and cement.

The events from the fight, the argument in the sewer and the look in Leo's eyes once they were back in the lair replayed in his head. He was tired of this. He missed his brother. He had been watching Leo in various battles since they had ventured topside and knew Leo could protect himself. Could protect the whole team.

Raph pushed his leg against the wall to send the hammock swinging. Together they'd run the Kraang out of their world. Defeated the Shredder. Run off the Foot. The purple dragons were becoming a problem, but the only other challenges lately included smaller gangs and petty thieves. Throughout all of those past battles, Leo had damn well tried that self-sacrificing bullshit often enough that each of his brothers knew to what great extremes Leonardo would go to keep them safe.

And wasn't that what Raphael had been trying to avoid in the first place? Isn't that what started all of this? He was trying to keep Leo from throwing himself in danger, and yet over the past four years he'd watched Leo throw himself out of buildings, use his own shell to block his brothers from explosions, almost go down with a technodrome, take on the entire Foot clan - Raph stopped his train of thought and shuddered, remembering those three months he sat by and waited for Leo to wake up from a coma at the farmhouse.

Apparently Leo was going to do those things whether Raphael was an ass to him or not. Whether Raphael loved him or not. He thought about that as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It took two full cups of coffee the next morning before Donnie perked up enough to remember he had good news for Raphael. He herded all three brothers and their father into the garage and pulled the sheet off the shellcycle he and Raph had been assembling together.

"You finished it?" Raphael said in awe, circling the bike. He clamped a hand on Don's shoulder in thanks.

"You know there wasn't much left to do. I found the last pieces finally on my last scavenge and installed them over the last few nights," Donnie replied.

"Just in time for your birthday!" Mikey chirped, bouncing up and down, thrilled that he no longer had to keep quiet about the surprise.

Raphael looked up at his family, an actual smile on his face. They all looked back at him with conspiratory smiles on their faces. He had forgotten about his birthday.

His father pulled a box out from behind his back and passed it to Raphael. Raph tore the lid off and his mouth dropped open as he pulled out a leather jacket large enough for his shell and wide frame. He lunged forward and gave his father an uncharacteristic hug.

Splinter laughed. "It's to help keep you hidden," he said, laughing. "You did choose a vehicle which leaves you more exposed than I would like."

"A sweater would keep me hidden," Raph said, pulling back to laugh. "You got me a kick-ass, I mean a very cool jacket."

Splinter shook his head, dismissing the curse in view of his son's obvious delight.

Leonardo stepped forward next and handed Raph a rather large, plain cardboard box. Raph kept his gaze on his brother's face for an extra few seconds before opening the box.

"You would give me a safety feature," he said, smirking as he lifted the large red helmet out of the box.

Leo grinned back, shrugging one shoulder.

He wasn't expecting it, and it happened so fast that he almost missed it, but his brother's scent filled his nose as Raph leaned over and hugged him as well.

"Thanks," Raph whispered before pulling away.

Leo's eyes shot to the ground, afraid of what they might show, he nodded in return.

"My present comes later," Mikey said. 'I'm making your favorite for dinner, plus a cake!"

"Thanks, Mike," Raph said.

"And we have one more thing planned," Donnie said. "But you'll have to wait until tonight for that as well."

Raph glared lightly at his family. They knew he hated surprises. But they just grinned back at him in return.


	7. Chapter 7

Leo drifted back from his meditation and opened his eyes. He put away his mat and headed down to the living room. The guests were beginning to arrive for Raphael's surprise party. Well it was a surprise until Raphael poked Mikey enough to get him to spill what the other surprise was. Leo gave Mikey credit – he held out longer than Leo expected considering he wasn't known for keeping secrets in the first place

They'd sent Raph out on his new bike when it got dark and told him to come back home in one hour. At least they didn't have to cover up why there was a time limit.

"Leonardo, it is such a pleasure to see you again."

Leo smiled and returned the greeting to his Ronin friend, "I wasn't sure you'd be able to make it, Usagi. I'm so glad you did."

He was still engrossed in conversation with his friend when Raphael came in from the garage. He watched as Raphael grinned when he saw the group waiting for him. Leo stopped mid-sentence to just take in his brother's face, softened by the grin. He'd grown used to Raphael's glowers, smirks, sharp edges and angry eyes. But now, seeing him smile like that, he almost had to look away. Damn, he'd missed that face.

Raphael scanned the group there to greet him. He was looking for Leo. He'd loved his first time out on the shellcycle. The freedom he felt was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. And while he should've been concentrating on getting to know the bike in action, instead, he spent the entire ride thinking about Leo.

Raphael hadn't been on his bike for more than 30 seconds before he was hit with Leonardo's scent. It was clearly embedded in the helmet. He had to wonder just how long Leo had stored the helmet in his room because even an hour long ride at speeds sometimes faster than he'd admit to his family still hadn't removed the smell of leather, sandalwood, and _Leo_.

Between his revelation the night before and the scent assault, he had an urge to be near his brother. Right now. He grinned again when he found him, although his smile faltered when he spotted him with Usagi. He wasn't jealous of Usagi's easy friendship with Leo. He just wished the bunny would go away and stay in his own dimension. Forever.

His ideas about Leo would have to wait as April tugged his arm and he was dragged into the kitchen to look at his cake.

Leo sat on the couch and scanned the party. Although they were friends now with Slash and the other members of the Mighty Mutanimals, that didn't mean he felt completely comfortable with the giant turtle in their home. He still tensed when Slash walked by Donnie or Mikey.

He continued to watch the room and caught Casey pull April in for a kiss outside the dojo doors. She pushed against his chest but then laughed and kissed him back.

He watched Mikey dump more chips in a bowl while he laughed with his friend, Woody. Leo still wasn't sure how he felt about Woody actually visiting the lair, but he knew Woody made Mike happy. Really happy too, not just a cheerful façade he sometimes pulled out just to cheer up big brothers. Plus Leo watched as Woody spent the entire time grinning only at Mikey and he found it was hard to distrust or dislike someone who was so clearly smitten with his baby brother.

Speaking of inviting Woody into the lair, Leo also wasn't clear how Woody's older sister, Sadie, had been invited in either. He knew that Mikey had met Sadie previously and he knew that Mikey had passed Donnie's email to Sadie. But now Leo was left wondering just how much time the two had been in contact considering they looked pretty cozy with their heads tilted together over the kitchen table, intently examining a piece of equipment Donnie had recently found. Donnie had previously mentioned to Leo, with a small smile on his purple-clad face, that Sadie was an engineering major in college and that they had had long conversations about her classes and interests. So, Leo was willing to believe that she was sincerely interested in whatever Donnie was describing regarding the metal contraption he was holding. Better her than him.

"It's a party, Fearless," Raph said, plopping down next to him on the couch. "And yet, somehow yer sitting here worrying anyway."

"It's hard to turn off," he muttered back. He stretched his fingers out from their position on top of his legs in an attempt to not tense the rest of his muscles. Raphael was sitting close. So close he could smell him. Could touch him if he moved his leg over even a little tiny bit. He could actually feel heat coming off his brother.

"I wanted to thank you again for the helmet," Raph said. "I had found one during a scavenge –"

"Oh, I didn't realize-"

"No, I like the one you picked out better."

Leo smiled down at his hands.

"I'll keep the other as a spare. That way you have something to wear when you ride with me."

Leo hummed in response. He was surprised. He was pretty sure Raphael had previously loudly stated that no one would ever ride the bike but himself. He chanced a look at Raph's face to see if he was teasing him.

Instead he was shocked to see wide open want in those green eyes.

Leo shivered and his mouth fell open to say something when Casey suddenly fell onto the couch on the other side of Raphael and clamped his hand down on Raph's shoulder. Leo didn't hear what Casey crowed in Raph's face. He closed in on himself for a moment and when he looked back up, Casey had already dragged Raph across the room to the ping pong table to play against Mike and Woody.

Raphael scowled at Casey but the guy didn't notice as he shoved a paddle into Raph's plastron. Raph glanced back at the couch and actually emitted a low growl when he saw that his spot on the couch had already been taken up by that dumb bunny.


	8. Chapter 8

Raphael parked his bike in the garage for the second time that night. Towards the end of his party, Casey had talked him into going out for another ride so that they could race each other on a deserted road outside the city. Not that they mentioned the racing part to anyone before they left.

He had still stayed out much later than he should've and he still expected a lecture from Leo. Birthday or no birthday. He removed what he now considered his "Leo helmet" and placed it on the workbench next to his bike before quietly heading inside.

Sure enough, there was Leo on the couch, except he wasn't alone. Usagi sat across from him in the armchair. They were so deep in discussion that Leo merely glanced over his shoulder at Raph. Raph watched as Leo seemed to scan him for any injuries before he turned back to Usagi to finish his statement.

Raphael frowned. Instead of heading towards the stairs and his bedroom, he headed to the living room and sat himself down next to Leo. Right next to Leo. He spread his arms out along the back of the couch, with one arm actually touching the back of Leo's shell.

"Well you're welcome to sleep here, of course, Usagi," Leo said. "You know how much Mike enjoys cooking for an audience in the morning."

Usagi laughed with Leo and Raph resisted the urge to glare at their guest.

"I'll walk you to our spare bedroom," Leo said, rising from the couch, feeling the burn on the back of his shell where Raph's arm had been resting.

"Very well, I thank you, Leonardo. I hope you had a happy birthday, Raphael. Good night."

"Night, Raph," Leo added as he headed towards the stairs with Usagi.

Raph nodded to both of them, freely scowling once they were out of his sight.

* * *

Raph groaned and swung out of his hammock. He wasn't anywhere near sleepy. He paced back and forth in his room for a few minutes before he heard something coming through the bedroom wall he shared with Leo. He stopped and moved closer to the wall, listening intently. He never went into Leo's room but he was pretty sure all he did in there was meditate and sleep. Neither of which made any noise.

He heard the noise again and realized Leo was asleep, but he was having a nightmare. For a split second he couldn't decide if he should wake him or leave it alone. At this point, it was probably dangerous for Raphael to be in Leo's room. To be near Leo's bed. But he couldn't leave him like that.

Mere seconds later he was jostling Leo's shoulder, trying to wake him up. He watched Leo bolt upright in bed and automatically reach above his head for his katana. Raph was suddenly grateful Leo's reaction had been to reach for weapons that weren't there instead of full on attacking. He should've known better than to touch a sleeping, thrashing ninja.

"Yer safe, Leo," he whispered loudly. "You don't need yer weapons." He took a step back just in case Leo decided to switch attack tactics.

"R-Raph? What are you doing here?"

"You were havin a nightmare, Fearless."

It was dark in Leo's room but Raph could see Leo's eyes searching the room as if looking for something menacing hiding in there.

"Did I wake you up this time?" Leo finally asked.

"No, I was awake."

Raph listened to his brother's calm voice and wondered how he managed to still sound like that after what had seemed like a pretty bad dream. Raph could hear his altered breathing, though. He didn't feel comfortable leaving him just yet. He glanced around, looking for a chair and realized Leo didn't have one. He moved down to the end of the bed, as far from Leo as he could manage, and sat.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

Leo only shook his head. He eyed Raph on his bed. He looked uncomfortable. But for now, he was still here and Leo was grateful.

"Wait," Raph said. "What do you mean, 'this time'? How often are you having nightmares?"

Leo swallowed and looked at the ground. How had he let that slip? His brothers' teasing didn't change the fact that he physically was unable to lie. Typically if he didn't want to tell the truth, he simply created a diversion in the conversation so that he avoided both telling the truth and lying. But he was tired. And even from that distance he could feel the heat coming off Raphael, which left him feeling warm. And safe.

He'd rarely gone to his brothers for comfort since becoming leader. Since the Raphael he'd been friends with seemingly disappeared from his life. He debated with himself for a few moments. Finally he sighed and said, "I always have nightmares."

Raph's green eyes widened. "What's always?"

Leo shrugged. "Almost every night."

"Since when?"

Leo looked at the floor of his room again.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Why would I tell you?" Leo retorted back.

Raph glanced down at the floor. He seemed to be making this worse. Why _would_  Leo willingly tell him he was having an extensive run of nightmares?

"I'm going to let you get back to sleep," he said, rising from the bed.

Leo watched, desperately fighting the urge to plead with him to stay. It was bad enough he'd just admitted to the nightmares. No way was he going to show any more weakness to Raphael.

Raph glanced towards Leo after he stood and froze. Leo wasn't verbally saying it, but his eyes were screaming at Raph not to leave him.

He swallowed. He shouldn't. He shouldn't do it. But he was damn well going to anyway.

He took the two steps required to reach Leo and bent forward so that he could wrap his arms around Leo's neck. He was immediately knocked off balance and ended up tumbling onto Leo's bed, onto Leo, as Leo had wrapped his arms around Raph's shell in return and pulled him forward.

Raphael knew immediately it wasn't just comfort Leo was after, either. Leo's breathing hitched and his hands slid down Raph's sides. It was all the encouragement Raphael needed. He braced himself on one arm, leaned his face down, and kissed Leonardo.


	9. Chapter 9

If he was nervous about Leo's reaction to being kissed, that quickly disappeared as one of Leo's hands reached up and gripped the back of his neck to pull him even closer.

When they broke the kiss, Leo rubbed his fingers down the side of Raphael's face. He was pleased to see Raph lean into the touch.

"Where have you been, Raphie?" Leo asked softly.

Raph dipped his face into Leo's neck. He didn't need to ask what Leo meant by that. He knew. Leo quickly placed both hands on either side of his face and pulled it back up to look at him.

Raph rolled to the side and took Leo with him so that they were lying side by side facing each other. "Look, Leo, I decided a long time ago that the best way for me to protect you and keep you safe would be –"

"To hate me?" Leo asked, frowning.

Raph sighed, tightening his hold around Leo's shell. "I've never hated you. I was just," he paused, wondering why it was so hard to find the words to explain. "I was just trying to keep my distance from you because I thought if you liked me less, then you wouldn't feel the need to jump in and save me and get yerself hurt." He met Leo's blue eyes and realized he was having a hard time reading Leo's expression.

Leo was keeping silent, and Raph realized, was also currently keeping his hands to himself despite their close proximity.

"I've been thinking about this the past few days and I realized -," Raph paused again. "I realized that you jump in anyway to save all of us all the time. And I should've realized a long time ago that yer always gonna do that and that you can handle yerself well enough to come out the other side." He took a deep breath and paused again, chancing another look at Leo's face. "I'm really sorry, Leo."

He was starting to feel worried. He still couldn't read the expression on Leo's face and Leo continued to be silent.

"Please say somethin."

A few moments of silence went by and Raph began to wonder if Leo was going to remain quiet forever. He thought about the silence and realized Leo might need some time to really think about what Raph said. He might need time to figure out if he was going to forgive Raph or maybe even decide not to talk to him at all anymore. Raph began to wonder if he should get up and leave to let Leo consider his options. He was currently wedged between Leo and the wall so getting up would be a little awkward but he could shift himself over Leo and then-

"You're an idiot."

Raph's gaze snapped back to Leo's face. Leo's smiling face. Leo's hand reached forward and brushed Raph's cheek, before sliding behind his neck to pull him forward for another kiss.

Raph gasped when Leo's tongue licked his lips and before he knew it Leo's tongue was invading his mouth. He groaned softly back into Leo's mouth as their tongues twisted around each other. Leo pulled back after a few minutes, happily taking in Raphael's half-lidded gaze.

"I just called you an idiot," he said, chuckling. "No threats for saying something like that to the mighty Raphael?"

"You can call me whatever you want if you follow it up with a kiss like that," Raphael said, pulling Leo closer to him. "Why aren't you mad at me?"

Leo ran his fingers down the front of Raph's plastron before sliding them out to run along the edge of Raphael's shell. "Because I'd rather be here with you like this than waste time being mad," he said simply. "Just," he started and then paused.

Raph shook him when he stopped talking, anxious to hear what Leo was thinking.

"Just, promise you won't forget all of this in the morning. Promise me that you'll talk to me when you get another crazy idea like this so I can talk you out of it."

Raph nuzzled his face into Leo's neck before planting a chaste kiss on his lips. "I promise, Leo. I'm not going anywhere." He paused. "Are you really going to forgive me this easily?" He stared into Leo's eyes. "You don't want to take some time to think about it? Maybe come up with a lecture?" he teased.

Leo chuckled. "Look, I'm not saying I'm at all happy with how you handled this. But, I can see it wasn't done maliciously." Leo shrugged once. "You did it because you cared about me."

Raph considered Leo's easy forgiveness as Leo's nose nudged Raph's face to the side so that he could nuzzle his face into Raph's neck.

"I missed you, Raphie."

Raphael nodded, a lump in his throat preventing him from telling Leo how much he had missed him too. He felt pressure in his eyes and squeezed them shut before the tears could escape. He couldn't believe he'd let this go on for as long as it had. He tried to think of another way to express to Leo how sorry he was. But as he was thinking, he realized Leo's breathing had evened out and his muscles had relaxed against Raphael. Raph smiled and shut his eyes. He'd tell him again in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

Woody and Sadie had arrived back at the lair the next day around mid-morning armed with groceries for a big lunch.

Donnie, Sadie, Master Splinter and Usagi sat the kitchen table and laughed as Mikey and Woody prepared the lunch. Master Splinter marveled at how well Mikey and his friend were able to anticipate each other's cooking needs, tossing food back and forth from the cutting board to the stove top, while flying swiftly around the kitchen without knocking each other over. It was the kind of smooth choreography he praised his sons for while they sparred and he was impressed that Woody fit into Mikey's fast-paced, colorful rhythm so easily.

"You must be a good cook, Woody," Donnie said, "Mikey refuses to let anyone else touch his precious kitchen utensils."

"He's an excellent cook," Mikey responded, grinning at Woody who ducked his head when he felt himself blush.

"From what you've told me, I doubt you're any better with your lab equipment," Sadie said, elbowing Donnie's arm.

Donnie laughed. "True, although Mikey always finds a way around my lab security systems."

"Ninja, dude," Mikey said over his shoulder, grinning at his older brother. "Honestly, you should be thanking me. Think of all you've learned about enhancing security thanks to me!" His grin grew when even Master Splinter began chuckling.

No one had seen Raphael yet, which didn't surprise anyone as they had all seen him leave again on his new shellcycle once his party was over the night before. No doubt he came in late and was sleeping in. They were surprised, however, that Leonardo was still asleep. Even on the nights that he stayed up late to await Raphael's return, something he did on numerous past occasions, he somehow always managed to wake up early for meditation with Master Splinter.

Master Splinter had begun to notice dark circles under Leonardo's eyes lately though, so he was hoping that Leonardo's absence this morning meant that he was catching up on some much needed rest on their day off.

Mikey was beginning to dish the spaghetti noodles into individual bowls when they all heard a deep, rumbling laugh coming from the doorway. Woody thought it was almost comical how Mike froze with a spoon full of noodles in mid-air just to stare as his two eldest brothers entered the kitchen. But he soon noticed that everyone, even Mikey's father, had frozen and were staring at the two turtles.

Raph and Leo stopped grinning at each other long enough to turn and look at everyone else in the kitchen.

"Raph, are you laughing?" Donnie asked, incredulously. He took note of the sound and had a flashback to when they were children, which was quite possibly the last time he'd heard a real laugh coming from his big brother.

"Seriously, dude. I'm scared," Mikey said. "What was that sound you were making? You're not dying right? Hey!" He said, swinging around and tossing noodles across the room in response to Woody jabbing him in the skin between plastron and shell, one of the few places Woody had found he could jab Mike and get his attention.

"Don't make fun of him just for laughing, Mikester," Woody muttered. "He beats you up enough as it is."

Mikey only laughed in response and went back to dishing out the spaghetti noodles while Woody followed along with the sauce.

Leo sat at the table next to Usagi and began a conversation with his friend. Raph smacked Mikey on the back of his head as he sat next to Leo and then began asking Donnie questions about the fuel valve on the Shellcycle.

Leo managed to carry on a conversation with Usagi and Master Splinter, while half listening to the sound of Raph's voice next to him. He wondered if anyone else could hear the soft difference in Raphael's tone of voice this morning. Or in the way his broad shoulders seemed to be eased back. Or in the way his eyes seemed to be shining brightly. He thought back to earlier that morning when he'd woken to the familiar scent of Raphael and could feel the pressure of something wrapped around his shell. He knew it was corny but at the time he hadn't wanted to open his eyes for fear that the sensations would disappear.

_When he did open them, he found he was still face to face with his favorite turtle._

_He took advantage of Raphael's sleeping form to let his eyes leisurely travel over the hothead's face, down the thick, emerald neck, across the broad shoulders. He scanned over the scars covering Raph's plastron until he reached the blanket that was covering them both. He loved the freedom of being able to look at his Raphael without a snarling glare in response._

_His hand lifted and began lightly tracing the lightning bolt-shaped scar at the top of Raph's plastron._

_"Do you remember how I got that one?" a husky voice asked him._

_Leo lifted his eyes and grinned when he saw that Raph's eyes were still closed. "I remember you not listening to me when I said to watch out for the –" he was cut off by Raph growling as he leaned forward to cover Leo's lips with his own. Leo happily kissed him back and laughed when they broke apart. "You did ask if I remembered," he pointed out._

_Raphael's only response was to squeeze his shell a little tighter._

_Leo twisted his head around to glance at the clock on his bedside table and suddenly bolted upright._

_"What?" Raph said, as he was practically dragged into a sitting position as well based on his unwillingness to let go of Leo._

_"It's nearly eleven!" Leo said. "Master Splinter – Usagi – they're probably wondering where I am. We're lucky they haven't come into my room looking for me." Leo managed to untangle himself from the blanket and Raph's warm arms to jump up and start putting on his gear._

_Raph frowned and watched him. "Lucky?" he asked._

_Leo glanced at him as he pulled on his elbow pads. "Yes. Unless you're ok with them coming in and finding us cuddled together."_

_"I don't give two shits."_

_Leo stopped what he was doing and stared into Raph's green eyes. "Really? I wouldn't think you'd want anyone to see you cuddling. Anything. Ever."_

_Raph moved to the edge of the bed and stood up to approach Leo. "I'm not going anywhere Leo. I'll march downstairs and tell them all right now that I'm yers and yer mine."_

_Leo felt butterflies in his stomach and knew the grin on his face was so big he probably looked like a dork._

_"You look like a dork," Raph said, trying to keep a smile off his own face. He lifted Leo's blue bandana from his bedside table to hand to him._

_"Let's just settle into this ourselves first," Leo said, taking Raph's hand into his own, instead of just the blue cloth. "Then we'll start sharing."_

_"Whatever you say, Fearless," Raph said. "_

_Can I get that in writing? I've got some paper in here." He pretended to look around the room. "Just a little something to pull out and show you when you start arguing with me on patrols?"_

_"Shaddup," Raph said, pushing Leo towards the door. "Come on, we have to go get my gear before we head downstairs."_

Leo's thoughts were quickly brought back to the present when he felt Raphael's foot slide up his leg. He resisted the urge to glance at the emerald turtle and suddenly realized that Master Splinter was asking him a question.

"Sensei?" he asked, hoping his father wouldn't be too upset by his inattention.

Master Splinter considered him for a moment before repeating himself. "I was asking if you would be willing to walk Usagi to a safe location after lunch so that he may return to his own dimension?"

"Of course," Leo said, nodding to his friend beside him. He waited for the conversation to begin again around the table before throwing a grateful glance at Raphael. Raphael smirked into his noodles in return. And for the first time in several years, the expression garnered butterflies in Leo, instead of irritation.

* * *

Raphael eyed the back of Leo's shell as he headed out the entrance of the lair with Usagi. He wished he could think up a reason to go with them, but he'd never been friends with the bunny, so it would probably seem strange if he tagged along. He wasn't jealous. Well, he wasn't totally jealous. But he'd only had Leo back for one night. And he wasn't ready for him to be out of his sight yet.

He begrudgingly headed into the dojo to work out with his punching bag and wait for Leo's return.

And he did wait. And then waited some more.

Finally, he headed towards Don's lab, ready to force the genius to track Leo's T-phone when Leo burst through the entrance, looking dead on his feet as he carried an unconscious Usagi.

"Leo!" Raph said, running to his side and immediately taking Usagi from him. "Donnie, get out here!" he called as he set Usagi down on their couch. He quickly turned back to Leo who had sunk to his knees on the floor.

Donnie rushed out of his lab with Sadie right behind him. He scanned Leo as Raphael was lifting him off the floor and carefully placing him in the armchair. He didn't see anything life-threatening so he turned his attention to Usagi. He'd never had to tend to the samurai before this and was suddenly at a loss for what to do about all the fur. Eventually he was able to focus on the areas of white fur that had been stained red from blood to locate the injuries. Mikey was suddenly beside him, handing more bandages to Sadie so she could assist him before he headed over to Leo.

"I'm fine, Mikey," Leo said, trying to swat away his brother's examining hands.

"Yer bleeding, Leo," Raph grumbled at him."Let the kid look. I can already tell yer gonna need stitches on that arm."

"Let me remind you, Leo," Mikey said, gripping his arm to keep it still, "that today was supposed to be our day off. And I don't count having to stitch you up as fun in any way."

"What has happened?" Master Splinter asked, appearing from his room. He eyed Leonardo while leaning forward to place a hand on Usagi's brow.

"Usagi and I were saying goodbye when we were surrounded by mousers and Baxter Stockman," Leo said, with disgust. He watched Woody hand Mikey supplies as he cleaned a deep cut on his arm, preparing it for stitches.

"I thought Stockman disappeared when the Foot left town," Donnie said without taking his eyes off the wound he was stitching on Usagi's shoulder. "Why would he be back?"

"I didn't get a chance to ask," Leo said, fully aware of how tense Raphael was as he stood next to Leo's chair. "We were fighting off the mousers when we realized Stockman had some sort of weapon. After a few attempts, Usagi was able to strike the weapon, which also means he was closest to it when it exploded. He was tossed pretty far and has been unconscious ever since." He paused and cast a worried glance towards his friend. "Will he be ok, Donnie?"

"I think so, Leo," Donnie said. "Most of his injuries are pretty minor. We may just have to wait for him to wake up. I'll get him set up on the cot in my lab when I'm done here."

"What about Stockman and the rest of the mousers?" Raphael asked.

"Stockman was unconscious from the blast as well. But he was breathing when I checked him. And there weren't any mousers left when I was finished." He glanced up to see Raphael smirking at him. He smiled back before continuing. "I brought this home as well," Leo said, pulling a piece of the weapon out of his belt. Sadie moved over to him to take it for Donnie. "It was the only piece left that I could see. But maybe we can use it to figure out the purpose of the weapon."

"All stitched up, bro," Mikey said, standing from the crouching position he'd been in to take care of Leo's arm. "Now let me see the rest of the cuts."

"I'll get em, Mike," Raph said, taking the supplies before dropping into a crouch in front of Leo. "You go back to your day off." He began tending to Leo's more minor injuries, ignoring the shocked expression on Michelangelo's face.

"Lets help Don move the rabbit," Woody said, pulling on Mikey's arm while smiling to himself as he watched Raphael with Leo.

"Do you want me to look you over, Leo?" Donnie asked.

"No, I think Raph's got it," Leo said, not taking his eyes off Raphael as he continued to clean the other small cuts on his arms.

"Donatello, please alert us when Usagi wakes up," Master Splinter said, before heading into the dojo.

"I'll help you examine this," Sadie said, turning the fragment of weapon over in her hands before handing it to Donatello. They followed Mikey and Woody who were carrying Usagi between them towards the lab.

"You shoulda called me," Raph said when the others had left the main room.

"I just wanted to get back," Leo answered back quietly. "And my hands were pretty full. You know with all that fur, Usagi looks light and fluffy, but he's actually pretty darn heavy."

Raph's green eyes raised to meet Leo's blue ones. He knew Leo was trying to lighten the mood but couldn't find it within him to return a laugh. "I don't think we can keep this a secret for long," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because I was about to lose my shit just now in front of everyone," Raph said. "I wanted to go with you when you left and I shoulda followed my instinct."

"Raph, I'm barely hurt. And you've seen me way worse off than this before," Leo said.

"I know," Raph said, resting his hands on Leo's knees. "That doesn't mean I'm used to it or that I like it."

Leo leaned forward suddenly and kissed Raphael. "I'm sorry I worried you," he whispered. He looked towards the lab where he could hear the others working and sighed. "I should check on Usagi. It's our fault he got caught in a fight with Stockman."

Raphael nodded, agreeing with him.

"We'll continue this discussion later."

"Bet yer ass we will," Raph growled at him.

"He's waking up, Leo!" Don called out from the lab.

Raph stood up from his crouched position in front of Leo as Mikey and Woody left the lab.

"Yeah he woke up after we carried his heavy butt all the way in there," Mikey muttered as he and Woody plopped down on the couch to play video games.

Leo also stood quickly to head into the lab and suddenly fell back down into the chair.

"Wha-" Raph said, dipping down to look into Leo's face. "What was that?"

"Just felt dizzy," Leo said, placing a hand on his forehead. "I'm fine." He pushed himself up from the chair and was able to push past the dizziness this time to start walking towards the lab.

Raph trailed behind him, worried as he watched Leo's steps falter a few times.


	11. Chapter 11

Raphael snuck into Leo's room that night after everyone else had gone to bed. Leo was still awake and welcomed Raph by pulling him abruptly into the bed as soon as he could reach one of his wrists.

Raph laughed as he tumbled into the bed, immediately kissing Leo as he felt Leo cup the sides of his face.

"We should tell them soon," Leo managed to whisper. "I don't like you having to sneak in and out of here."

"Think Master Splinter will mind if we start sharing a room once he knows?" Raph asked, rolling to one side of the bed so he could pull Leo into his side.

"I don't know. I have no idea how he'll react to this," Leo said seriously. He nestled into Raph's side, easily his new favorite spot for sleep.

"What if he doesn't take it well?"

"We'll convince him," Leo whispered back, his eyes closing heavily.

Raph listened to Leo's breathing even out, felt his body relax again against him and knew this was something he was quickly going to require in order to go to sleep himself every night.

He felt like he'd just closed his own eyes when Leo's thrashing and mumbles jerked him awake. He sat up on an elbow and immediately tried waking the leader up.

It wasn't working. Remembering Leo's urge to attack the last time he'd been awoken from a nightmare, Raph straddled Leo's lap and pinned his thrashing wrists down to keep himself protected.

"Leo!" he said, practically yelling this time to wake him.

Finally, Leo's eyes opened and Raphael leaned in close so that those blue eyes would focus on him. Leo's arms tried frantically to pull free before stilling when his eyes finally focused on Raphael's calm face. His breathing was loud and ragged and he could feel a tremor move through him every few seconds.

"Leo?" Raph asked.

Leo finally nodded and Raphael carefully climbed off of him to sit next to him.

"It shouldn't be that hard to wake you up," Raph growled. "What are these damn dreams about?"

Leo sighed. "They're just nightmares, Raph. Something comes after you, Mike, Don or Splinter. Or I'm fighting Shredder. Or I'm back in dimension X by myself. They're all just variations of ways that I could fail as a leader."

"The only way you could fail as a leader would be if you quit," Raph said. "You know that, right?"

"Yes. I do. Honestly. But I guess my subconscious doesn't know that."

"How long?"

Leo glanced at him and then looked away.

"How long?" Raph said, practically growling again.

"Since we got hit with that mushroom toxin and had to live through our worst fears," Leo said. He tried to hide a smile as he watched Raph shiver, probably thinking about his own experience with the cockroaches.

"Leo, that - that was two or three years ago! You've been having nightmares every night for two or three years and you didn't mention it to anyone? Not even sensei or Donnie?"

"I'm not a child, Raph. I'm not running to them just because I had bad dreams."

"This isn't normal," Raph said. "You need to tell them. Maybe sensei has some way to run them out of yer head."

Leo pulled Raph back down to a sleeping position and settled back into his side.

"Maybe," Leo said. "I'll think about it."

"Good," Raph said, tucking his arm around Leo's shoulder. "Because if I'm sleeping in here I don't plan on being woken up every night," he teased.

"Jerk," Leo mumbled as he fell back asleep.

* * *

Usagi sat and watched their practice the next morning. The Hamato family had convinced him to stay and rest the day before and he was waiting for practice to be complete before Leonardo was to walk him back out so he could go home. He still had a ringing in his ears from yesterday's explosion. But he didn't dare mention it as he knew what kind of remarks it would bring from Michelangelo regarding his large rabbit ears.

He watched Leonardo and Raphael spar with a thoughtful expression on his face. Leonardo had never outright complained to Usagi about his temperamental brother, but Usagi had always recognized that their relationship had been strained. Today, however, he watched the easy looks between them and wondered what had happened to cause this new comradeship.

Leo grinned at Raphael during their spar, the metal of their weapons clanged loudly as they charged towards each other. He flipped backwards to avoid an arm swinging from below and immediately felt dizzy. He swayed to the side but managed to maintain his hold on his swords, pressing back against Raph's advance again. He realized suddenly that he couldn't see and immediately closed both eyes. The dizziness was beginning to dissipate and he continued fighting, listening to Raph's footsteps and loud breathing.

At the end of the fight he opened his eyes and was immediately grateful that although the room was a little fuzzy, he could see again. He could also see the others eyeing him.

"Took the opportunity to practice fighting blind," he said in response to their curious faces.

"Excellent initiative, Leonardo," Master Splinter said. "Something I hope your brothers will consider in future random spars as well."

Raph watched Mikey and Donnie roll their eyes, but for the first time in his entire life he didn't feel anger and jealousy over Master Splinter's praise for their leader. Leo worked hard and it was rare that Master Splinter handed out compliments. He wondered if Leo would have nightly nightmares about failing as a leader if he got a little more praise from Master Splinter and the rest of the clan.

"That was pretty great, Leo," he decided to pipe in, ignoring the shocked looks from Mike and Don. He was too focused on Leo's face.

Leo ducked his head and bowed to Raph. He was thankful he wasn't able to visibly blush after hearing first Master Splinter's kind words and now Raph's. He straightened his face into a neutral expression before standing straight again.

He moved to the side and sat next to Usagi, Raph following to sit on his other side so that they could watch Mikey and Donnie spar.

"How are you feeling today?" Leo asked, leaning towards Usagi to get a look at his eyes. They seemed clear. No vision abnormalities.

"I am feeling quite rested, Leonardo," Usagi answered back. "I am also very grateful for Donatello's skills with needle and thread,"

"Feeling dizzy at all?" Leo asked.

"No, not since I awoke yesterday."

"Good. Good," Leo said, nodding before looking off to the other side of the room.

Now that he had a chance to sit and think, he began to seriously wonder what was wrong with his health. He didn't want to worry any of his family members with this, which meant he didn't want to go to their family doctor – Donatello – with his concerns. And the only way to see a different doctor and not worry his family would be to make sure everyone else was too busy to notice he was gone for a while. Normally that wouldn't be a problem. But now he had Raphael to consider. And after what happened the day before with Stockman and the mousers, he knew there was a slim chance Raph would be willing to let him walk Usagi out without him, so he wouldn't be able to use that as an opportunity to slip away unnoticed.

Time to call in reinforcements.

* * *

"Casey's coming over with his bike," Raph said, coming up behind Leo in the otherwise empty kitchen.

The two of them had recently returned from walking Usagi out. He had stood tersely by as Leo and the bunny had said swift goodbyes. Raph didn't miss the strange looks Usagi had been shooting him on the walk out there, either. He nodded a quick goodbye himself and then had clasped Leo's hand for the walk home.

Now in the kitchen he slid his hands around Leo's waist and hugged him from behind. "Come out for a ride on my bike."

"I'm not getting on that death trap, Raphael," Leo responded. "You're lucky I let you on it."

"Like you could stop me, Fearless," Raph said, laughing loudly.

Leo glared icily over his shoulder at Raphael.

Hmm, Raph thought. Maybe he could.

"I'm gonna get ya on the bike sooner or later," Raph said, kissing Leo's neck. He let go and started towards the main room as he heard Casey's noisy entrance into the lair. He paused at the kitchen door and quickly asked, "What are ya gonna do while I'm gone?"

"Probably go on a training run," Leo said, putting his now empty tea cup into the sink. "Be safe," he growled.

Raph smirked at him and headed out to greet Casey.

Leo listened to Raph and Casey laughing as they left. He stood listening for his other family members as well. Master Splinter was watching TV, Mikey had already left to meet up with Woody and Donnie had shut himself in his lab after practice.

He headed out of the lair himself and took off in what could be considered a training run, which alleviated his stress about technically lying to Raphael. He stopped nearly thirty minutes later and knocked on a door that few would be aware was there.

"Hey, Pete," he said to the pigeon-man who answered the door. "Is Dr. Rockwell here?"

* * *

When Raphael returned later that night he found Leo alone in the living room. For the first time in his entire life, he'd sent Leo a text to let him know that he was going to miss dinner and be out late.

Leo had actually stared down at the text when he'd received it and wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry at the sudden thoughtful gesture.

Raph plopped down next to Leo and stretched his legs out. He hadn't meant to be gone for so long today, but Casey's bike had had trouble and they got stuck in an alley trying to fix it for almost two hours.

"Hey, babe," Raph said, fighting the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"No," Leo said, not taking his eyes off the movie he was watching.

"Honey?"

"No."

"Sugar lips?"

"Stop now."

Raphael answered with a loud, rumbling laugh.

"You tired?" Raph asked him.

Leo shook his head.

"Want to play poker?"

They had moved to the kitchen table to play a card game. Leo wasn't even sure how the current topic had come up.

"I'm just not sure you even know that many curse words," Raph said.

"Seriously? After listening to you for how many years?" Leo flicked a card into the center of the table. "Do you know that you once called me a goddamn pile of frog shit?"

Raph had the decency to pretend to look contrite.

"Still," Raph continued as he threw another card into the table center, "I get it. Yer honor-bound brain just doesn't allow such profanities to fly out of yer honor-bound mouth."

"Really?" Leo asked, shooting him an amused look.

"It's like there's a switch in yer head that prevents it," Raph said, almost whispering to himself. He tilted his head and his green eyes studied Leo's head as if he could see inside it.

"You're hilarious," Leo said, dryly. He tossed another card to the table.

"Not to worry," Raph said, smacking his hand down on the table. "Its not your fuckin fault and I'm here for you. I'll swear enough for the both of us. Shit," he said, adding the last word just to make his point.

"You feel as though the universe requires a certain number of swear words spewed into its atmosphere every day?"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely."

"And you don't think I'm carrying my own weight in this department?"

Raphael could feel a challenge coming and grinned inwardly. He tossed out another card.

"I believe we have found somethin, Fearless, where you come up short."

Leo narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Want to bet?"

"I'm pretty sure you don't know how to do that either. You have noticed that you talked me into playing war instead of poker, right?"

"So you don't want to bet?" Leo asked.

"Fine," Raph said, sighing dramatically. "What are the terms?" he leaned forward, his mischievous smile showing off most of his teeth.

"I will cover our share of cussing for the universe for one week, which means that you will refrain -"

"Hey –"

"You don't think you can stop?" Leo asked, innocently. "For one short little week?"

It was Raphael's turn to narrow his eyes at his brother.

"The only condition will be no swearing expected in front of sensei," Leo continued.

"And what do I get when I win?"

"What do you want?"

"I want you to go for a ride on my bike with me."

Leo considered and then nodded.

"And you?" Raphael asked, a smug look on his face as though he knew it wouldn't matter what Leo said since he fully intended to win the bet.

"I want you to agree to do whatever I want for one whole night, without arguing."

"When do I argue with you?"

"You're arguing with me right now."

"When do we start?"

"Right no-"

"Wait!" Raph said, holding up his hand. "Goddamn pile of frog shit. Fuck."

Leo raised an eyeridge. "You good?"

"Lets do this, Fearless."

* * *

At first, Raphael thought it was fun. The looks on Donnie's and Mikey's shocked faces were well worth it every time Leo let a swear word fly out.

It was a little harder than Raphael thought it was going to be to keep the profanities out of his own vocabulary. He caught himself a couple times. But overall, he was feeling pretty confident. He could already see Leo sitting on the back of his bike, holding onto him as they sped through the city.

Two days later, however, he found himself flinching every time Leo cursed.

Every. Single. Time.

It just wasn't right. He thought he'd enjoy this. Hell, he thought it'd be kind of hot. And maybe in bed it would be. But in every day conversation? It just didn't sound right coming out Leo's mouth.

Leo may be the leader and Leo may be a deadly fighter, but Leo's face still looked rather innocent to Raphael. Leo moved with the grace of a swan for fuck's sake. The swear words were unnatural coming from that face. It was making him cringe.

He was in big trouble.

* * *

They were at breakfast on the fourth morning when Raph threw his hands up it the air and started yelling. "Stop. Please. Just stop. You win. I concede. You fucking win."

Leo stared innocently at Raphael. "What's the fucking problem, Raph?"

Mikey and Donnie continued to eat, hiding their smiles behind forks and coffee mugs as they looked back and forth between their brothers.

"I cant. I cant take any more. I thought I would like it but I just cant take this with the – the face and the mouth – "

"My face and my mouth?" Leo tilted his head, looking confused.

"It's not right," Raph said. "Just stop."

"Well, shit Raph, if that's how you-"

"Stop!"

Leo chuckled. "Look, you turned this on. And it's coming pretty naturally now. It probably won't be that easy to turn off. Plus, I had to up my game. You lasted way longer than I thought you were going to and-"

"You didn't think I was going to last long!? How long did you think I was going to last?"

He watched Leo's shoulders shake from the laugh he was trying to contain.

"What!?"

"Do you have any idea what this conversation would sound like to someone listening in out of context?" Leo asked.

Raph paused and replayed what had just been said in his head.

"Fuckin shithead," Raph muttered, turning to storm away from his smug brother.

"Oh, come on, Raph!" Leo called after him. "I'm sorry! I'm sure you normally last a long time!"

Mikey snorted so hard he spewed eggs across his plate.

Donnie's coffee mug hit the table with a loud thud.

Raphael stopped in his tracks and spun back around to glare at Leo.

"Shit," Leo whispered, before grinning and sprinting in the other direction with Raphael hot on his tail.

"Mike, promise to never bet against Leo," Donnie said, wiping up the coffee that had spilled on the table.

"I think eggs went up my nose, bro!"


	12. Chapter 12

"One whole night of no arguing. Are you ready little brother?" Leo teased.

"Where are the others?" Raph asked, biting back the heavy sigh that had threatened to escape.

"No others. Just us," Leo said, leading the way out.

Raph caught up to him in the outer tunnel and eyed him from the corner of his eye. "We're going on patrol without them?"

"No, we're not going on patrol."

Raph tried to hide his shock. He was certain Leo wanted to use his "argument free" night for a patrol run as a way to guarantee Raph's swift obedience to all of Leo's leader orders.

Leo smiled inwardly when he saw the confusion on Raph's face. He knew what Raph was thinking. The truth was, he had come to count on Raph's arguments and second-guesses during battles. Sometimes Raph saw things he didn't and he needed his second-in-command to speak up because it kept them all safe.

But he wasn't about to spill all of that to Raph right now. Instead he kept walking and looped his fingers into Raph's where they were squeezed tight in return.

He made multiple turns in the sewer tunnels until they reached another wide open abandoned subway station. He let go of Raph's hand and ducked into a small side room, before returning with a basketball.

"Want to play?" Leo asked. He jerked his head to the right where a basketball net had been mounted to one of the concrete walls.

"You know how to play?" Raph asked, incredulously. While he'd played one-on-one with Casey in the darkened park outside Casey's apartment building before, he'd never seen Leo near a basketball. Leo didn't even watch basketball on TV.

Leo shrugged.

"Alright, Fearless. Let's play," Raph said.

Leo grinned and bounced the ball to Raph.

"First to ten?" Raph asked.

Leo nodded. "Wager?"

"No way you jerk," Raph said, dribbling towards him. "I'm never betting against you again."

He smiled as he watched Leo laugh. Leo took advantage of the distracted turtle and stole the ball. His arm shot up, his wrist flicked and the ball sailed into the net.

He leaned forward and whispered, "that's one," to the shocked Raphael before his tongue left a wet trail up Raph's neck.

Raph actually moaned before jerking his head back. "That's cheating."

Leo winked one of his blue eyes as he grinned in Raph's face before leaving his side to retrieve the ball. He passed it back to Raphael who did his best to focus. It was a battle he lost. He got side-tracked watching Leo's arm muscles tense as he made a basket, his leg muscles contract and release as he jumped up to dunk the ball. Leo's grin was wide. His sapphire eyes shone. And despite kicking Raphael's ass during the game with his freakishly good basketball skills, he still managed to run his hands over Raphael's body almost as often as he had his hands on the basketball.

Raph finally focused enough to try to use one of his arms to try to block Leo behind him so that he could hopefully make what would be only his second point of the night, when he suddenly felt a hand grasp and tug on his exposed tail.

He gasped and felt an actual churr work its way up his chest and vibrate his throat as his arms went limp at his sides. He glared at Leo's falsely innocent face after he'd stolen the basketball and dunked it for the game point.

Leo approached Raphael slowly. The grin was gone, replaced by a soft smile as he looped his arms around Raph's neck.

"You've been using your powers for evil, Fearless," Raph gruffed at him, leaning forward to nip at Leo's jaw line in punishment.

Leo sucked in a breath when he felt the tiny bites. "I know," he answered back. "But I don't really think you're complaining."

Raphael hummed in response. He moved his mouth to Leo's and was soon twisting his tongue around the leader's. He wrapped his arms around Leo's shell and jerked him forward so that their plastrons clicked together, finally gaining a moan out Leo.

Raph considered all the sounds he'd let escape during the game and he figured it was only fair.

Reluctantly, Leo pulled back from the kiss and even managed to create space between their plastrons before breathlessly saying, "We have another stop tonight."

Raph looked like he wanted to argue but remembered he was duty-bound to do exactly what Leo wanted. So he released his hold on Leo's shell and took his hand instead.

"Lead on," he said, smiling as Leo pulled on his hand and took off in a jog.

They ran through several more tunnels until even Raphael felt a little lost. He'd somehow never been back this far before and was shocked when they turned a corner and were met by a large pool of rushing clear water. Leo grinned at him and it was the only warning he got before Leo dove into the water, pulling Raphael in with him.

They went under and Raph could feel the light current, which was probably the reason the water was so clear. Leo's face appeared in front of his and he reached out to wrap his arms around his shoulders, pulling Leo close and kissing him there under the water.

With Raph holding onto him for the kiss, Leo used his own arms to push them up towards the surface. Once they got there, he used his body to press Raph's shell against the wall, while he held onto the ledge over Raph's shoulders before they were swept away. The water was cool but he could feel heat coming off the hothead in waves through the current. Without breaking the kiss, he pressed a knee between Raph's legs so he'd have better access to rub his lower plastron against Raphael's.

He was rewarded with a moan as Raph continued to cling to him. He continued this rhythm for a few minutes, eventually breaking the kiss and trailing kisses and licks down to Raph's emerald neck. He listened to the encouraging words and sounds coming from Raph's mouth and memorized the sensitive areas he found on his neck, around his collarbone and over to his shoulders, all while continuing to grind their lower plastrons together.

He freed one hand from the ledge and slid it between them to rub over the bulge he found on the emerald turtle. Leo's fingers slid over the slit there and heard a loud churr from Raphael, leading to his own loud churr in response to the sound. He rubbed the slit for only a few moments before Raph gasped and dropped down into the cool water. He didn't worry about the cold for long as Leo's hand soon wrapped around his exposed length, moving in swift motions, keeping the chill away and pulling loud churrs and groans from his throat.

"You," Raph managed to growl at him between groans.

Leo grinned at him. He didn't need any further encouragement. He dropped down as well and was soon met by one of Raphael's hands. He gasped and churred as he felt the strong, warm hand move up and down his own length. He felt sparks through his whole body and was suddenly concerned about his ability to hold onto the ledge and keep them in place. He couldn't worry about it for long though as Raphael sped up his pace, causing Leo to do the same in return and knocking all reasonable thoughts from Leo's brain.

"Fuck, Leo," Raph gasped out, jerking his head backwards, almost hitting the ledge behind him before leaning forward again to capture Leo's mouth. Leo was panting, churring and did his best to capture Raph's tongue with his own.

They both came almost simultaneously, neither able to last long after all the teasing they'd endured up to that point. Raph leaned his head back again, roaring Leo's name while Leo ducked his head into Raph's neck, his grip tightening on the ledge despite the tremors running through him.

When he felt Raph's tremors come to an end, he moved his other hand to the ledge to help steady them and pressed himself hard against Raph to keep him in place as he felt the emerald body go limp following the lengthy convulsions.

A few minutes later he was finally able to lift his head from its resting place on Raph's shoulder and kiss his favorite turtle again. Raph felt strength return to his arms and he wrapped them back around Leo.

They stayed like that until Raph felt Leo shiver from the cold. He twisted around and lifted himself out of the water, reaching down behind him to pull Leo up next. He didn't have the strength to stand yet so he collapsed down on the ground and pulled Leo down on top of him, rubbing his hands up and down Leo's arms to try to warm the cold leader.

"Was that a reward for not arguing with you, Fearless?" Raph teased after a few minutes. "Because I feel a deep personality change coming on. No more arguing. Ever."

"No more personality changes from you," Leo whispered, kissing Raph quickly on the mouth. "Ever." He tried to press himself even closer to Raphael's body. "How are you always so warm?"

Raph shrugged and grinned at him. "Universe must've known I was gonna have a mate who was always cold."

He watched the dorky grin creep on Leo's face at the word mate. He found he rather liked the term himself.

Both turtles were dry by the time they finally managed to climb to their feet. Leo felt dizzy as he stood but figured it was due to their recent activity. He wrapped an arm around Raph and was able to hold onto him without alerting him until it passed. Then he looped his fingers into Raph's once again to begin the walk home.

"So Fearless," Raph said, suddenly eyeing Leo. "Where did you learn to play basketball like a damn pro?"

Leo smiled at him. "Well I found the basketball and the net and thought it might be fun. It's at least an athletic hobby."

"Right, right," Raphael said, nodding, his voice teasing. "It's true that you probably weren't getting enough exercise before."

"Sooo," Leo said, ignoring the tease, "I asked Mike to teach me how to play. We installed the net and he gave me a couple lessons. He got bored with it though. Strangely he doesn't find basketball all that entertaining. He hasn't been out there for more than a year. Maybe two years," Leo said, thinking about it.

"So you go out there by yerself and shoot hoops?"

Leo nodded.

"Ever bring anyone to the water before?"

Leo shook his head. "No I just go there sometimes to cool down after basketball."

"Alone?"

"You want me doing that with someone else?" Leo asked, not sure why Raph was asking the same question again.

Raph jerked them to a halt, his glare pinning Leo in place. "No I do not want you doing that with someone else," he said.

"Then what's with all the questions?"

"How did you even find these places?" Raph asked, ignoring Leo's question.

"I just explored a lot," Leo said.

"Explored when? What free time did you have between training and meditating and saving the world?" He tried to make his tone of voice teasing but was having a hard time accomplishing it. Made worse by the fact that Leo was no longer meeting his gaze.

"Well, Donnie would be in his lab and Mikey would be playing video games or skateboarding or eventually with Woody and you'd be out with Casey," Leo said, his voice trailing off as he shrugged. "I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, Raph," he added when he saw Raph's concerned face.

Raph pulled Leo into a fierce hug, thinking about the amount of time Leo had been by himself the past few years. It sounded lonely.

"I shoulda been with ya," he said, squeezing tighter when he felt Leo trying to shake his head to stop Raph's apology. "Yer not gonna be alone anymore, Leonardo," he whispered into his ear.

Leo ducked his face into Raph's neck, accepting the apology though he didn't need it.


	13. Chapter 13

Leo was hanging up a call on his T-phone the next day as Raph walked into his room. He could see dark circles under Leo's eyes and he knew he was probably starting to sport a few as well. Leo was still having nightmares every night, disrupting not only his sleep but now Raphael's as well.

Raph eyed Leo, though. He looked more than just tired. He looked upset.

"You look like a kicked puppy," Raph said. "Which is impressive. Because we're turtles." He grinned as he watched a small sound escape Leo's suddenly smiling mouth. The recent ease at being able to make Leo laugh didn't take away the happy feeling he got every time it happened.

Leo looked to Raph and debated whether he should tell him what Dr. Rockwell had just relayed to him over the phone. He'd really rather take care of this himself and not worry his family, especially Raphael. But he was feeling worse and worse by the hour. He was going to need help.

And more than that, he wanted to learn from Raph's mistake. He didn't want to push Raph away to protect him. He knew that it would just hurt Raph and himself in the long run.

So he took a deep breath and softly said, "I'm in real trouble, Raphael."

Raphael's eyes widened. Silently he sat next to Leo on the bed and waited.

"Let me say first that I'm sorry. I haven't been feeling well and I didn't tell you. I didn't want to worry you. I thought maybe it would just go away."

"Your dizziness?" Raph asked, recalling the way Leo had fallen back into the chair last week after his fight with the mousers.

"Yes," Leo said. "Only there's more to it now. I'm dizzy every time I stand. Sometimes I lose my eyesight for a few minutes."

"Leo!" Raph said.

Leo continued, trying to ignore the hurt in Raph's face. "This morning I almost fainted during practice. I'm beginning to feel unnaturally weak."

"Let's get ya to Donnie," Raph said, starting to stand but stopped when Leo placed a hand on his shoulder and held him in place.

"A few days ago I went to see Dr. Rockwell."

"Ya did what? When? And what's wrong with Dr. Donnie?"

Leo took a breath. "I just didn't want to worry any of you. I'm sorry, Raph. I needed someone outside of the family."

"When did ya go?" Raph asked, trying to think back over the past several days. He'd been practically glued to Leo's shell since the night of his birthday party and even when he'd gone out on his bike with Casey those couple times, Leo had stayed in the lair.

No, Raph thought to himself. He only thought Leo stayed home. It had been a mistake in the past to assume that Leo just stayed home waiting on him every time he went out with Casey. But after last night's discussion about Leo's adventures in his free time, he knew better.

He stared hard at his brother. Leo hadn't answered him yet. Instead he was watching the gears work in Raph's head.

"Did Casey's bike really have trouble or was that an elaborate plan to keep me occupied?"

"I'm sorry, Raph," Leo said quietly. "Casey owed me a favor."

Raphael growled and turned his body forward, no longer leaning into Leo's.

Leo wanted to reach out to him but kept his hands to himself. He watched as Raph glared at the opposite wall.

Finally Raph said, "If you really felt like you needed to go see Rockwell by yerself, then I guess that was the only way that was gonna happen." He turned back to Leo. "You were right. I wouldn't have wanted you to go out alone after you'd been attacked just the day before."

"Raph, I'm really sor-"

"Stop," Raphael said, place his hand over Leo's. "You've recently forgiven me for four years worth of shit without even making me work for that forgiveness. So forget it. Now get back to yer story. What the hell did Rockwell say?"

Leo suddenly remembered the feeling he got when he'd received that text from Raph about being out late and had another moment of wondering if he should laugh or cry. He stared at his hothead's calm face for a beat before continuing.

"He took a blood sample. He said I have high levels of mushroom plant toxins in my blood. And that when he checked the levels again this morning, they were doubled in number, which means they're increasing in my own bloodstream every day."

Raphael jumped up and started pacing, something Leo had only seen him do a small number of times when he was really worried. "How do we – how do we get mushroom toxins out of yer system? What'd Rockwell say for that?"

"He's working on some kind of antidote," Leo said. "I don't know how long it will take."

"Wait, wait, Leo," Raph sat back down. "Are we talking about those crazy "worst-fear" mushrooms? Because if you've been walking around with those toxins still in yer blood, that would explain the nightly nightmares, right?"

Leo considered it. "That would make sense," he said, nodding.

"So. So great. Rockwell cures you and you'll feel better and no more nightmares. All in one fix."

"That would be great," Leo said, managing a small smile for Raph.

Raph leaned forward and hugged Leo to him. "This is scary," he voiced for him. "We're going to tell Dr. Don and Mike and Master Splinter."

Leo sighed but nodded.

"But I promise you, Leo, no matter what – I promise yer not goin anywhere. Yer mine and I'm keepin you."

 

* * *

 

Don hung up with Dr. Rockwell and gave Leo the evil eye again. He was still a little hurt that Leo had gone to Rockwell before coming to him. Leo's concern for keeping his family from worrying about him grated on his doctor nerves.

"Rockwell has started working on the antidote but he would like a sample from the actual mushrooms that sprayed us."

Mikey's blue eyes widened, "But didn't they all dry up after Leo hit em with the power of the sun?"

Master Splinter moved to sit next to Leonardo on the couch, wanting to be near his ailing son. He watched as Donatello stood rigidly at the edge of the room, wanting to both comfort his brother and also yell at him for leaving him out of his previous medical care. Michelangelo was practically bouncing on and off the armchair, his way of processing the news. And Raphael. Master Splinter glanced at his red-clad son again. He was sure that this information was not new information to Raphael by the expression on his face as Leonardo had spoken. He sat tensely on the other side of Leonardo, his fingers clenching and unclenching in fists by his sides.

"Lets just go find them," Raphael said, standing abruptly and heading for the door. Michelangelo jumped after him and Donnie hesitated only a second before turning and following his brothers.

Leo stood as well, intending to go with his team. But the dizziness was so severe that he dropped straight to the floor, unconscious.

"Leonardo!" Master Splinter said, scooping his son up off the floor and placing him back on the couch. He was soon surrounded by his other three sons who were crowding around him to get to Leo.

Donatello finally got close enough, with Master Splinter's help which included holding Raphael and Michelangelo back, to start checking Leo's vitals. He was about to say that Leo had probably just fainted when Leo began thrashing his arms and legs in a now frighteningly familiar sight to Raphael.

"Wake him up! He's having a nightmare," Raph said, trying to push his way forward back to Leo.

Donnie tried calling his name and shaking him. Neither worked.

"Help me get him in the lab," Donnie said.

"I've got him," Raph said, scooping up the leader and quickly carrying him to Don's lab. "You've got to wake up," he whispered into Leo's ear as he placed him on the cot and then moved to the end of the bed where he could at least keep a hand on one of Leo's struggling feet. He couldn't stand to stand by and watch Leo struggle like this.

Donnie hooked Leo up to one of his machines and immediately began reading the output. He shook his head. "He's not unconscious, obviously. But he's stuck in a coma-like state. This has to mean the mushroom toxin has reached such a high level that he's now trapped in whatever nightmare he's in."

Coma. Raphael stopped breathing for a moment. He flashed back to sitting beside a comatose Leonardo at the farmhouse. For three months. Without any idea on when or if Leo would wake.

"Let's just go get those mushrooms for Rockwell," Mikey said, eyeing his big brother. "I can't stay here and watch him like this, dudes."

"Master Splinter, will you watch over him?"

If anyone thought it was strange that Raphael would ask their father to do something he had planned on doing anyway, no one commented. But Raph knew he couldn't leave Leo's side without making sure he wouldn't be left alone.

Leo's three brothers raced out of the lair and into the tunnels, hoping that they could remember the location of the mushroom den. Unfortunately after several failed attempts to find the correct location, their hopes began to dwindle.

"We were each out of our own damn minds that day," Raph growled. "How are we supposed to find the right tunnel?"

"Leo would know exactly where to look," Mikey said, glancing between the two tunnel choices in front of them. "He'd use that leader voice of his and say 'this one!' and we'd all just follow him down there and he'd be correct."

"He's going to pull through this, Mikey," Donnie said, resting a hand on Mike's shoulder.

Raph leaned his shell heavily against the tunnel wall. "What if he doesn't? I can't lose him now. I love him."

"I know, bro," Mikey said, turning in Raph's direction and feeling the sudden urge to comfort his big brother for once. "We all love Leo. We'll find the mushrooms."

"No," Raph said, and despite his nerves, he emphasized his next words, "I love him."

Mikey moved to stand in front of Raphael. Raph watched as his big blue eyes widened.

"You love him? Like I love Woody?" He had a big grin on his face.

"You love Woody?" Raph asked.

Mikey's smile got bigger. "Yeah, well, if we're putting it all out there."

"Yeah," Raph said, still feeling nervous. "I love him like that." He paused. "You're still smiling at me. You don't think its -," he faltered for the next word.

"No," Mikey said, clamping a hand down on his shoulder.

"We're brothers," Raph said, his voice low.

"Well," Donnie said, and the other two whipped their heads up to look at their previously silent brother. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "We were raised together as a family, yes. But I've run some blood tests in the past. You and Leo are not actually related by blood."

"What? Really?" Raph asked, perking up.

"Well we don't all look that similar, aside from the turtle part," Donnie chuckled. "So I had decided to test the theory and it turns out that only two of us are related."

"Which two?" Mikey asked.

"You sure you want to know?"

Mikey and Raph exchanged a look and then nodded at Don.

"Well, Mike, it turns out that you and Leo are actually related by blood, which makes sense considering you have similar builds, similar blue eyes."

"Whoa," Mikey said.

"Does Leo know?" Raph asked.

"No," Donnie said, rubbing the back of his neck again. "I did the experiment as a personal project. I didn't think the results would matter to anyone."

"Must be why Leo and I are so well matched in the dojo," Mikey said, leaning into Raph's face to tease him.

Raph knew Mikey was baiting him but he let it go. The shock was wearing off and it was being replaced by a deep happiness.

"So," Donnie continued trying to find an analogy that Raph would appreciate, "if you like, you can think about it like a warrior being in love with his leader."

"No," Raphael said, pushing himself off the wall, smiling. "Like a guy in love with his best friend." He grinned at his brothers. "Thanks, Don. You too, Mike."

"Wait, Raph, is this why you've been such a big pain in the ass for the last several years? Cause dude, if Leo is the cure for that, please, please love him!" Mikey teased, skipping away before Raph's swat could make contact with his head. "Hey man, I think you should be nicer to your mate's little brother!"

"Mike, you know you'll always be my little brother too, right? Both of you," Raph glanced up at Donnie.

"I'm not sure how to react when you're being nice to me," Mikey said, raising an eye ridge.

"Don't get used to it," Raph said, trying to hide a smile behind a scowl.

"You have anything to share in the relationship department, Donnie?"

"Not yet I don't, Mikey." Donnie said, ducking his head and trying to hide a small smile. "Sadie and I are still getting to know each other."

Raph smiled at him before glancing around the empty sewer tunnel again. "We need a new plan. How do we save Leo? I promised him."

"Lets head back to the lair and I'll do some more research. I'll even call in Rockwell to see if we can join forces."

"Thanks, Don"

 

* * *

 

 

Donnie sat at his lab table with his laptop in front of him, doing his best to research different types of mushrooms and what kind of cures people used for their toxins. Sadie sat across from him on her laptop doing the same.

He glanced over at the empty cot in his lab. Raphael had moved Leo to his own bed. He claimed it was for Leo's comfort, which was probably partially true. But he also knew that a thrashing and yelling Leo wouldn't help Don work. Don felt guilty about leaving Raph alone with Leo in that state, but he knew Raph wouldn't leave his side anyway and he was grateful for the quiet so he could think.

He glanced over at Sadie and saw her eyeing the remaining piece of Stockman's weapon which he'd left out in the middle of the lab table.

"The wiring on that thing looks familiar," she said, more to herself than to Donnie. She glanced up at him. "So, Donnie," she suddenly said. "Each of you were sprayed by those mushrooms, right?"

He nodded.

"So each of you probably has at least a small dose of toxin still in your system. But Leo, since he was the only one who actually fought the mushrooms directly, he got hit with a heavier dose than the rest of you."

Don nodded again, listening and thinking himself as Sadie repeated the story she'd been told when she arrived earlier.

"So he's got a larger dose of toxin in his system and that probably explains the couple years' worth of nightmares for him."

Donnie nodded again.

"So why after a couple years of no change, are the levels suddenly increasing?" Sadie asked, glancing again at the piece of weapon in the middle of the table.

Donnie looked to the weapon scrap as well. Then back up to Sadie, his gap-toothed grin filling his face.

"Sadie, I could kiss you," he said.

She tilted her blonde head and grinned back at him. "Okay."


	14. Chapter 14

_He screamed as the metal turtle in front of him scooped up a tiny, three-year old sized Michelangelo and began to run off with his baby brother._ _"He's just a child! Leave him alone!"_

_His feet flew as he raced after the larger turtle. He'd already watched the turtle take Donatello and he was going to find out where he was trying to hide his little brothers._

_They turned a corner and the metal turtle heaved Mikey into the air where Leo watched him vanish into nothing._

_"You fail little turtle."_

_Leo was still staring into the air where Mikey had been a moment ago but his head snapped to the metal turtle at his snarled words. Suddenly, Leo had the feeling that he'd already had this battle. But in past dreams, the metal turtle had never before spoken._

_"I only fail if I quit," Leo said, speaking the words that had been echoing around in his head since Raphael had said them to him. Unsheathing his katana, he charged the metal beast._

* * *

Raph had been dragged into the kitchen by Mike and Woody earlier for food. He allowed it only because Master Splinter took over his post by Leo and only because he wanted to avoid the lecture Leo would give him if Raph was malnourished and dehydrated when he awoke.

He returned to Leo's room, the room he was beginning to think of as his room as well, and found a still thrashing Leonardo and a frustrated Master Splinter.

"I am unable to reach him via meditation," Master Splinter said, speaking before Raphael could even ask what was wrong. "There is a wall preventing access. I can't break through it."

Raph thought about this. He had been trained in meditation, but his skill level was nowhere near that of Leo's or Master Splinter's. Still, if it meant reaching Leo, he'd try anything.

"Do you think I could?" he asked.

Master Splinter's first reaction was doubt. But then he turned and considered his red-clad son. He saw the determination in his eyes. He thought about not only the fierce devotion Raphael had shown since Leo fell into this coma-state, but the closeness the two had always shared, especially as children. He suddenly realized that if anyone could reach Leonardo, it would certainly be Raphael.

He stood and placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder, pleased that it didn't garner a flinch from his son.

"I'll help you get started," he said. "It'll be up to you to get through the wall."

Raphael nodded.

* * *

_The metal turtle fell to his knees and collapsed to the ground after Leo's last blow._

_Leo stared down at his defeated enemy. He recognized the turtle now. He'd been plaguing his nightmares since he was a child. Leo was stuck in a nightmare. He was sure of it. He couldn't put together why he would be stuck here, but he didn't give it much thought. He just wanted to know how to get out._

_He turned, looking around the tunnel he stood in. He froze when he heard mechanical pings and beeps followed by a familiar battlecry._

_"BOOYAKASHAAAAA!"_

_Leo raced around a corner and found Mikey and Donnie battling a growing number of Kraang droids. He forgot entirely that he was dreaming and his only focus became protecting his little brothers._

_He was about to leap forward when a strong hand grabbed his shoulder and swung him around, crashing his shell against the wall behind him. Raphael's lips crashed on his and emerald hands slid down the skin on his sensitive sides. Raph yanked him forward and crushed their plastrons together._

_"Do you feel that?" Raphael asked, moving his mouth away from Leo's mouth only to trail down to his neck._

_"Yes," Leo breathed out, tilting his head to the side to give Raphael more access._

_"So I have your attention?" Raph asked, alternating between biting Leo's neck and licking the sore spots._

_"Yes," Leo rasped out, squirming beneath him._

_Raph pulled his head back and his green eyes bore into Leo's._

_"You realize yer stuck here?"_

_Leo nodded back solemnly._

_"Are you okay?"_

_Leo's head jerked back in the direction of the battle going on between Donnie, Mikey and the Kraang._

_Raph gripped his chin and turned it back towards his own face. "I thought I had your attention," he said, a smug smile forming on his face before he kissed Leo again, pushing his tongue into Leo's mouth, searching out Leo's tongue. He pulled back again, reluctantly. "They're not there, Leo. They're at home. They're both safe."_

_Leo stared into Raph's eyes. He felt the truth in Raph's words. Because they were Raph's words. He felt his body relax against Raphael._

_Raph smiled at him, a silent thanks for trusting him._ _"We're coming for you," he whispered to Leo. "No more fighting. Just be calm for me and wait it out."_

_"Raph," Leo said, trying to cling to him as he could sense Raph leaving._

_"Let us fight the demons for you this time," Raph said. "And then I need you to wake up."_

* * *

Leo's eyes flew open. Normally when he awoke from a nightmare, his heart would be rapidly beating and he'd be on the verge of hyperventilation with his breathing. But his heartbeats and breaths were normal. He felt calm.

He slowly turned his head and realized he was on the cot in Donnie's lab. Donnie and Sadie stood beside him, both grinning like idiots. Donnie was holding a machine that looked a lot like a weapon, which got Leo's narrow-eyed attention until Donnie gently set it down the on the lab table.

He scanned the room further and found his father, Mikey and Woody, all looking relieved, standing in the doorway of the lab.

He heard a small sigh and his eyes quickly shifted down towards the floor.

"Raph," he whispered.

There. Sitting on Leo's own tatami mat on the lab floor. There was his Raphael.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some Japanese words in this chapter thanks to Leo's love for the culture. I thought about putting the translations at the bottom but it always irritates me when I have to scroll back and forth. So please just be happy you don't have to scroll and ignore any disruption in the writing. Also, there is one word where I just couldn't disrupt the story flow, but I think it's an obvious translation.

The next time Leo opened his eyes, he was in his own bed and he found Raphael dozing next to him in a chair. Even sleeping, Raph looked exhausted. And beautiful. Leo smiled to himself.

"Migoto," Leo whispered towards him. (Magnificent)

Raph stirred and shook his head, eyes still shut.

"Hachimitsu." (Honey)

"No," Raph said, stretching his arms in front of himself as he continued to keep his eyes shut.

"Takara." (Treasure)

"The Japanese don't make it okay, man," Raph said, finally opening his eyes to allow himself to see Leo actually awake. He had expected Leo to be grinning at him but Leo's face was serious. He shifted in his seat at the knowledge that Leo wasn't teasing him with the terms of endearment.

"What are you doing in a chair? Come here. Get in here," Leo said, moving over to make space.

Raph lifted his blanket and climbed in next to him, immediately pulling Leo into his side. He leaned down and kissed him. It was soft and chaste and Leo recognized Raph's need for comfort. He kissed him back softly, lightly trailing a hand down his face.

Leo lifted himself so that he could sprawl across Raph's plastron. He rested his chin on his hands on the armored chest.

"You haven't been sleeping. Have you been eating?"

Raph rolled his eyes dramatically, trying to hide a grin. "Yes, sir."

"Do you want to tell me what happened? What did you guys do?"

"Well it was mostly Donnie, although he gives Sadie a lot of the credit. They realized that they recognized that piece of weapon you brought back after fighting Stockman and the mousers. It's the same type of weapon we stole from Hun - that big crate Don and Mike lugged all the way back here durin our last big fight," he grinned at Leo, " – it was full of em."

"What does the weapon do?"

"Some kind of radiation exposure. So when it exploded, Don says you were hit with a massive dose of radiation."

"And the radiation led to the mushroom toxin suddenly increasing, which is why I started to feel sick on the top of the nightmares."

Raph nodded. "That's what Donnie said. So Don and Sadie took one of the weapons and – now I'm paraphrasing the genius talk here – "

Leo grinned up at him.

"-and reversed its function to suck the radiation back out with some kind of scanner. He says it wouldn't have gotten rid of all the toxin, but it would've lowered the amount in yer system. Don's very proud. Says his new toy can really do some good in the world for other people exposed to dangerous radiation. I'm sure he'll tell you all about it as soon as he knows yer awake."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"You were in that coma-state," Raph paused. The word coma didn't fit in his vocabulary. It slid out of his mouth with a growl.

Leo squeezed him tighter and slid up his plastron to kiss him again. This was also for comfort but he added some pressure behind this one. He was happy with Raphael's easy response and he felt some of the tension leave the emerald turtle beneath him.

Raph paused, took a deep breath and then continued. "Coma for three days. Sleeping now for about two, which means you got to sleep through your shot in the arm from Rockwell. Turns out Pigeon Pete is pretty good at findin mushrooms. You should be toxin free now. He brought over an antidote for each of us. They even called Casey and April in for their own doses." Raph was pretty sure at least. He hadn't left Leo's room but he could mostly hear what was going on in the other rooms.

Leo nodded as he reached around Raph's head and untied his red mask before setting it on his bedside table to pile around his own. He took in the dark circles and lines around Raph's eyes before kissing him again.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Raphie. And it wasn't mostly Donnie who saved me. I know you were there, too."

Raph's eyes shifted to the side before coming back to meet Leo's. "I didn't know if you'd remember that. Master Splinter tried to reach you but said there was a wall blocking him out. I would've done anythin at that point to talk to you and see if you were okay. So I said that I would try meditatin to reach you. Right before I started, Don came runnin in with that reversed weapon. So we moved you back to his lab first and they waited to see if I could reach you because they needed you to hold still for the scan."

"Sounds like a pretty advanced meditation skill," Leo said, dipping to kiss the emerald neck so Raphael wouldn't see his grin. "You should join me in meditation more often and we can work on developing it."

"No extra meditation lessons," Raph growled, feeling Leo smile into his neck. "I'm sure it only worked because I needed to see you."

"You weren't there before," Leo said, lifting his head and tilting it thoughtfully before his blue eyes captured Raph's green ones.

"Where?"

"In the nightmares I was having. Before you forced your way in through meditation, you weren't there at all. It was only Mikey and Donnie who needed my help over and over again."

Raphael thought about it and shrugged. "That's because they're yer little brothers. And I'm yer mate."

Leo refocused on Raphael's eyes as a smile began to split his face in half. "I love you, Raphael."

"Aishiteru, ya dork," Raph said, pulling Leo's smiling face back down to his for another kiss before shifting Leo to his side, his preferred place for sleep. "I've missed this," he said. "I think I'll be able to sleep now."

Leo hummed in response, feeling his own eyes growing heavy again.

Master Splinter smiled to himself outside Leonardo's door.

 

* * *

 

The next time Raphael opened his eyes it was because he could feel the weight of Leo's own eyes on him.

"Go back to sleep, creeper," he growled out.

"I'm well rested now, thank you," Leo said, smirking. "You're the one who exhausted himself by sleeping in a chair for 5 days. I've been waiting for you to wake up now for a whole day."

Raph's eyes snapped open. "We've been asleep for another whole day?"

"You've been asleep for another whole day," Leo said. "I've been trapped here in your clutches. Do you realize how strong you are even in sleep? Mikey had to sneak food into me."

Raphael laughed outright picturing Leo pinned to him the whole day.

Leo smiled softly at the laugh and was also happy to see that Raph's dark circles were gone. He leaned upwards and pressed his lips to Raphael's cheek and moved his way over to his mouth.

"My sons."

They both froze. It wasn't unusual that Raphael would be found sleeping in Leo's bed after the ordeal they had all just been through. But this…

They both turned their heads and looked to Leo's doorway where their father stood.

"I would like to speak to you in my room," Master Splinter said, before bowing out. His expression gave away nothing.

Raphael turned back to Leo who was now staring at his empty doorway. "No more secrets," he whispered to Leo. Leo dragged his blue eyes back to Raph and gave a shaky smile.

They slowly got up, stretching out muscles that hadn't been used in days, and put on their gear.

Raph squeezed Leo's hand outside their father's room, although he released it before they entered. They both kneeled in front of where Splinter stood.

"Is there something you'd like to share with me?" Splinter asked.

Raphael began speaking before Leo could even think about opening his mouth.

"I love Leo, sensei," Raphael said. "I have since we were small and I made a foolish decision a few years ago to cut myself off from him to try to keep him safe. It was a mistake and we reconciled recently, right before Leo's fight with Stockman and his sickness. We want to be together," he continued quickly, not allowing either Splinter or Leo the chance to jump in until he'd said his part. "Our brothers already know," he shrugged at Leo's questioning face. "I told em while you were down. And it turns out that Don's done an experiment in the past that showed that only two of the four of us are related by blood and it's not me and Leo."

"Which two?" Leo asked incredulously, hearing all of this for the first time.

Splinter was intrigued by this as well. He wasn't letting on to his sons that he was already aware of their relationship, and it was sort of fun to watch their squirming, but he was surprised that Raphael had information that he wasn't aware of.

"You and Mike," Raph muttered over to Leo.

Leo rocked back on his heels, absorbing the information. "What'd they say? When you told them you loved me?" He seemed to have forgotten Master Splinter was even in the room.

"They were happy for us," Raphael said, glancing towards Master Splinter.

Leo's gaze went back towards Master Splinter as well.

"Is this how you feel as well, Leonardo?"

"Hai, sensei," Leo answered back, his voice low but strong. He paused for a moment before asking, "Are you disappointed in us?"

"I could truly never be disappointed in either of you, my sons," Master Splinter said, finally allowing a smile to cover his features.

"You don't seem surprised," Raphael stated, tipping his head to one side to eye their father.

"You seem to forget, Raphael, that I have raised you both since infancy. Those that live in the world above us might not understand this relationship, but humans have not seen the two of you curled together, even as baby turtles," he paused to smile. "So close that sometimes you looked like just one turtle when I would check on my sleeping sons."

Raph and Leo glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes with smiles on their faces.

"I regret that I did not recognize the reason for the drastic change in your personality and behavior, Raphael. Perhaps I could've spoken with you to help relay your fear in your misguided attempt to protect Leonardo."

"Honestly, sensei, I doubt there was anything you coulda said. I was pretty determined-"

"Pretty stubborn," Leo interjected in a mutter.

Raphael turned his head slightly and gave him a mock glare.

"You did commit yourself to this for quite some time," Master Splinter said, failing to suppress a smile. "It showed a great deal of dedication and –"

He was cut off by Raphael's laughter. "This is beginning to sound like a trainin exercise."

Leo knew he'd probably get an actual glare from Raph for saying this, but he knew he had to say it in order to feel like they truly had their father's blessing. "Even though Mikey and Donnie seem to have found partners from the human world?" he paused as he could feel Raph tense next to him. "You're still ok with us being together? Perhaps if we were not involved, we could meet a human at some point –"

His father was shaking his head before he even finished. "There is no reason to continue looking for a partner when you've already found your true mate, Leonardo."

"Relationship advice from Master Splinter," Raph huffed out, trying his best not to laugh.

"Additionally, you may not have acted on this before, but I know that you've both always felt this way. And you've beyond proved yourselves individually and as a team in battle. Therefore, my expectation will be that the team dynamics will not change. I know you understand the importance of this."

"Hai, sensei," Leo said, while Raphael nodded along.

"Now, I believe Michelangelo has prepared a family dinner and we are expected at the table," Master Splinter said, moving around his sons and heading towards the kitchen where his nose was picking up the smell of cheese and broccoli soup.


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning Leo sat on the couch with Mikey wedged into his side. He knew his little brother had missed him so he allowed the squishing of his side and didn't point out that there were plenty more seats in the room that Mikey could've chosen.

They sat and listened to hyperactive-I-solved-something-that-was-driving-me-absolutely-insane-Donnie. He heard some of the words - "Overwhelming radiation poisoning" and "Brilliant Sadie" was dropped in there a few times.

Mostly he just focused on Donnie's ridiculous happiness and Mikey's closeness and felt at ease that both of his brothers were safe.

"I sent a message to Usagi and told him to get here as soon as he could manage so I can treat him for radiation exposure as well," Donnie said.

"Too bad Leo and I wont be here when the bunny gets here," Raph said, in a voice that didn't sound all that upset. He'd left Leo with their brothers earlier without a word about what he was up to. He reappeared now with Leo's coat under his arm, a bookbag slung over his shoulder and put his hand out expectantly to Leo. Leo raised an eye ridge at him but placed his hand in Raph's and Raph heaved him up off the couch.

Leo let Raph lead him into the garage and put his coat on when it was offered to him. Then Raph handed him the bookbag and growled at him not to look inside. Still silent, Leo put both arms through the bookbag so it was properly sitting on his shell.

Next Raph handed Leo a helmet.

"I am not getting on your bike," Leo said, refusing to take the helmet. "I just lived through a horrendous, life-threatening experience and you want me to just jump on that deathtrap?"

Raph sighed dramatically and plopped the helmet on Leo's head before he could protest. "You don't jump on the bike. You sit on her gently."

"Raph –" Leo said, his voice muffled through the helmet.

"Hey, hey, this is a surprise and yer not ruining it by refusing just to take one little ride on the shellcycle, are you?"

Now it was Leo's turn to sigh dramatically at the pathetic face Raph was making. "How little?"

"Atta boy," Raph said, taking the question as Leo's agreement to get on the bike. "Now stop pouting. Only sexy Leo is allowed on the bike." He put his own helmet on, sat on the bike and patted the seat behind him.  
***********************************************************************************************************************************  
Leo wouldn't admit to Raph outright that he was enjoying himself, but he was kind of enjoying himself. He loved the feel of the wind as they flew over the road. He loved the squirmy stomach-dropping feeling he got over hills or fast turns. And he loved being squished into Raphael with his hands clutching tightly to the front of Raph's soft jacket.

He should've known his definition of a "little" ride and Raph's definition would be vastly different. They'd left the city about 45 minutes ago and Raph still showed no intention of stopping. It was hard to ask on the bike, through the loud wind and the helmets, but Leo could tell at least that they were headed in the direction of April's farmhouse. This was confirmed after a few more turns as they were soon headed down back country roads.

Leo estimated that they'd be at the farmhouse in about five minutes. And with no other cars in sight, he got an idea. He slid his hand under the bottom of Raph's leather jacket and began to slowly trace his mate's slit.

Raph's startled reaction had the shellcycle jerking into the other lane before Raph corrected it and Leo laughed as he heard the emerald turtle growl out his name.

He smiled deviously as he realized that both of Raph's hands were required to keep control of the bike, leaving Raph defenseless as Leo continued to rub at the slit. He was pleased when a bulge began to form beneath his fingers and he heard what sounded like a combination of a churr and a growl from Raphael.

By the time the farmhouse came into view, Raphael was actually panting due to Leo's clever fingers. He skidded the bike to an uncharacteristically rough stop, causing rocks and dirt to fly. He pulled off his helmet and dropped it while grabbing Leo's hand and pulling them both off the bike in a tangled mess on the ground. He didn't care. He needed Leo and was pleased to find that Leo already had his helmet off as well.

His mouth crashed on Leo's while his hand slipped down to the leader's slit. He was happily surprised to find that Leo already had a bulge forming in his lower plastron as well. It excited him even more to think that Leo's teasing him during the ride would lead to Leo's own arousal.

Raph quickly used both hands to push the bookbag off Leo's shoulders, followed by his jacket, then he rolled Leo under him so that he could slide his own jacket off. He stared down at the lust in those blue eyes that he'd always loved. Leo was impatiently waiting for him to get his arms out of the jacket before he could be pulled back down to continue kissing. Leo's kissing was frantic, his tongue thrust into Raph's mouth and his hands pulled on the back of Raph's neck as if he couldn't get him close enough.

Blindly, Raph felt around next to them until he reached the bookbag and yanked it towards them. With one hand he was able to unzip the small front pocket and dig inside for the tube he was looking for.

Leo finally broke the kiss and released Raph's head in order to see what the hothead was up to. Raph took the opportunity to roll his body sideways so they could switch positions, landing Leo on top of him. He pressed the tube into Leo's hand, still panting as he rubbed his lower plastron against Leo's.

Leo paused for a second and stared down at the lube in his hand. Whatever he had thought would happen when he'd started all of this- strong, alpha-male Raphael immediately submitting to him hadn't crossed his mind.

"Raph," he groaned out as Raph's fingers had moved down to his slit again, "are you sure?"

"Leo, fuck yes," Raph said, impatiently as he slid a finger into his leader's slit. He smirked as Leo gasped and dropped down into Raph's hands. He immediately began stroking Leo to full hardness and decided to tease him a little. "Get to work, unless you'd rather I finish you off like this."

Leo was having a hard time concentrating. This was good. This was fantastic. But he wasn't about to give up the other offer. So with some effort, he moved his way down Raph's body and out of his hand's reach. He squirted some of the lube onto his fingers and then smiled as he watched Raph sigh as his entrance was covered as well.

"Drop down," he commanded and was pleased when the hothead did so immediately. His other hand began to stroke his mate and he used it as a distraction as he began the stretching process. He started slow, not wanting to cause Raphael any pain. He listened to the gasps and eventual churrs coming from Raph as Raph's legs spread even further to allow Leo more space between then. Eventually Leo added a second finger and Raph thrust himself towards Leo with a happy grin on his face. Leo was beginning to wonder if it was enough stretching when he must've hit something inside that warm tunnel because suddenly Raph arched up as much as his shell would allow, his muscular legs tensed and he threw his head back while churring and shouting out Leo's name. Leo pressed down on that spot again and grinned as he watched his mate lose control once again.

Raph looked down at the smiling Leonardo. "Get up here," he growled at him.

Leo grinned again and slowly removed his fingers. He applied lube to himself first and then lined up with Raph's entrance. He glanced up at Raph and continued quickly when he saw the lust and growing impatience in those green eyes. He pressed into Raph and felt the tight resistance. He did as he'd been instructed before and closed the space between their faces, leaning down to kiss Raphael. Their tongues twisted together and he pressed himself in further. He tried to go as slow as he could manage, trembling with the effort. The warmth enveloping him was making it difficult to continue the slow pace so he used the kiss to distract himself as well. A deep churr rose from his throat and he felt Raph smile against his lips.

He moved his own lips to the side of Raph's face and then down that thick neck he loved so much. Raph's scent filled his nose and he began focusing on the spots he knew Raph liked. He licked a pulse point as another churr left him, vibrating Raph's neck and causing the hothead to thrust his hips up towards Leo's. He bit and licked his way up and down Raph's neck, listening to the churrs and moans from Raph as he buried himself inside his mate. Once he was all the way inside, he stilled his hips, desperate to move but keeping still so Raph could adjust to him. He continued to attack Raph's neck until Raph thrust his own hips forward in encouragement for Leo to begin moving.

Leo pulled almost all the way out before slowly thrusting back in. "So fucking tight, Raph," he said, pulling out and thrusting in with each word.

Fuck, Raph thought, panting and groaning with each thrust, he had been right - it was hot to hear Leo swear in bed.

Raph's vocalizations were loud, half-growl, churring moans that spurred Leo on to quicken his pace as he reached down to grasp Raph's length to try to stroke him at the same pace.

The sight of his strong, emerald mate writhing beneath him was almost enough to push Leo over the edge. But he was determined not to go first. He pressed his face back into Raph's neck and reached down with his other hand to lift one of Raph's legs, shifting the angle until he hit that sensitive spot he'd found earlier. He watched as Raph's entire body tensed again. His head thrashed to the side and he spewed out curse words and Leo's name with every thrust.

Leo could feel Raph's body begin to tremble and knew his release was imminent. He began to thrust harder and whispered, "Raphie," before biting into that emerald neck with his teeth, holding on tight as he felt Raph's release on his hands and plastron followed by his own release deep inside his mate.

He slumped down on top of Raph and began licking the bite mark that was sure to be visible for the next few days on Raph's neck. After a few minutes, he rolled off of Raph and settled next to him in the grass, content to just listen to their combined panting.

"Did your plans include actually going inside the farmhouse?"

Raph's rumbling laugh answered him.

"Is there anything else inside that bookbag?"

"Just that gross tea you like so much."

Raph's voice was hoarse, huskier than normal. Leo liked it.

"You packed my favorite tea?"

Raph glanced over at Leo when he heard the sugary tone of voice. He was only partially surprised to see the blue eyes darken again with lust.

Leo reached over and grabbed one of Raph's strong upper arms and pulled Raph on top of him. Then he pulled his face down for another deep kiss. "That's so thoughtful," he whispered.

"Aishiteru, Leo," he answered softly.

"I love you, Raphie," Leo said, before thrusting the now familiar bottle up at his mate. "Now get to work."

Raph grinned down at him. "Yes, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second story to this series is called 'Confusion' if you'd like to keep reading these two set up in this premise. Thanks for reading!


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